Its my blog
Its my say

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Ketahuan

The Lady
Suriyati Jakaria
a.k.a Su/Yaya/Ana/Yati
20th June 1985
UOB Sales Banking


WishList
1. Quit Smoking
2. A new phone
3. Quit Levis
4. New Job
5. Rebond my hair
6. LeArn to cook good food

The Past
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008

Others

-Sarina - Has - Inaa -
- Deea - Zurah -

aku terfikirkan sky...
aku memikirkan tunangku..
aku semakin keliru..
aku seperti ingin memutuskan pertunanganku dgn si dia..
aku sudah tidak tahan menahan derite..
perit utk menerima ini sume..
perit lagi aku berpisah dgnnyer..
apekah kesudahannyer??
aku tidak mengetahui..
didalam fikiranku..
aku ingin berjauhan dgn..
didalan hatiku seperti ader kebencian dgn aper yg dier buat kpdku..
mungkin mmg betul,kau tidak sanggup menjage hatiku..
tidak byk aku perlukan darimu...
aku tidak meminta kau wang..
kau memerlukan ku utk memberikau wang pade hujung bulan dan bayarku balik apabile gaji kau sudah masuk..
sekirenyer aku tak memberinyer, kau pk serong terhadapku..
kau tak akan menemui aku..

byk bende lagi yg ingin ku katekan..
tapi... tak bermayer aku nak khabarkan disini...
smpai sini sajer...


aku tidak meminta kau harta bende..
aku cume mahu mase kau..

today i need to standby to go to Bugis To relief.. they're having Mid-Nite Sale... so coming over to help them.. I will be going to Raffles to help out too... but it will be on 1st of jun.. as for my side,we will be having mid-nite sale on the 2nd.. kak lina will be coming over to help us.. aint it great!! yipppeee!!! hehehe..

well these are things thats actually in my mind now..
on the 5th june..
i really hope to celebrate my birthday and our 21mthsary together..
my plan was... to spend quality time with him then off we go to VIVO city..
i dont ask much.. but is that too much to u??

i need you,dear...
do u need me as much as i need you???

we've been quarelling non-stop these days.. i just want all these to stop.. STOP!! STOP STOP!!!
why dont he gave some space of thought for me... understand how i feel.. make an effort to actually make thing for us..
what went wrong?? if you were to ask me...
i myself dont know..
is this a test to all couple who are already engaged out there???
are these one of the battle???
i dont want all these.. i just want to be happy..
thats all.. cant you see??
but why things always dont go my way...
im human too you know..
haiz..........................................

sadness lingers...
i just wanted to be happy..
i guess its just not meant to be..
this is not me...
im nt myself..
why must i go through all these...
hates when its happening again...
the past gonna repeats again..
im afraid...
i just wanted to be happy...

i guess this year... no celebration again for my birthday...

but whatever it is... i shall just remain neutral...
well.. i guess i just have to entertain myself...
he's busy...
always cocks-ups..
nothing work out for us...
anymore...
haiz....

things i wanted to buy..
covered crocs shoes...
tops from mango..
bags...

i realy gt no mood to blog anymore...

dont really wish to publish whatever happens in here... too long and tooo draggy...
all i wanted to say is... baby.. i loves and i really in love with you..
i dont want to lose you...
yesterday..
he cried..
i cried...
we cried...
we hugged..
we kissed..
we are sorry...
he loves me...
i loves him too...
our plan ruined..
sad...
sad..... sad....
i love you baby..
i will change...

on the 15th, i wa having my full shift at Raffles City and it was my last day there.. it was such a painful thing to leave... but i gt no choice... everyone which considered an old bird there was being transfered..
Mama Esther was transfered to Bugis Levis and was replaced by a sup from Taka,Lina...
then
Fizah was transfered to Vivo City Levis and was replaced by another senior,Jason Pang..
as for me... was transferred to Marina Square..
whle Nazjib transferred to Taka
and lastly
Mickey transferred to Herreen...
naz shed tears that day... i was really sad too..
Kak lina hugged me and kissed me too...
haiz..
felt extremely sad now..
yesterday was a full shift at Marina Square..
sales there sucks to its core im telling u..
haiz...now my commission will be going down to the drain..
very very sad.. but the peeps there are okay... i guess..
and guess wat??? im the only gal there...
ouh well... whateve....
today my off day after 2 full shifts..
and my dear fiancee will be planning today...
another cock-ups??? wel shall see later... so stay tune..

i tried not to think much about it.. but the more i do.. i more angry i get... im trying very hard not to think about it... anyway.. i just want to summarize what actually happened.. just because i hurt him physically abit without knowing much of the consequences.. he blew up and scolded me publicly... my mood changed drasticly.. well... let me emphasize on something... PUBLICLY!!! humiliations LIKE FUCK!!! AARRGHHH!! almost go haywire..
den the drama reached till his house... and from the look of his mother face... even the mother is afraid of her OWN SON!!! WTF!!! and u know what??
he didnt even realize that his reactions was sooo fucking LOW...n WTF!!!
i feel like slapping his freaking face when he even humiliated me...
all his nonsensical words doesnt really make any sense..
WTH!!!
i just dont understand...
why must he say the things that i got no intention to do at all..
WTF!!!
i really feel like slapping his face..
but i go no heart to do it...
because i loves him too dearly...
n i respect his mum...
haiz... even now.... tears filled my eyes...
he loves me... but why must he hurt me till that extend... tak pernah ku lintas dalam hati aku nak melukakan hatimu.. apetah lagi didepan ibu bapaku... tak mengapakah kau sanggup buatku sedemikian itu... mengapA!!!
i really out of words.. do we really meant for each other...
sanggupkah kau kehilanganku??
i really dont know how to face his family especially his mum...
oh god please give us the strength..







Ouh Tuhanku... Berikan kami kekuatan untuk menempuhi segala cabaran dan kegolakkan hidup ini..

ok 8im blogging.. im blogging...
i juz luv blogging...
well life has been an OKAY to me now..
naz... he's unpredictable...
but one thing for sure..
i love him still...
anyway today im gonna take MC... yes MC.. but hopefully i succeed..
i wanna spend time with my dear..
haiz... yes.. we plan to go out again..
hopefully this time round works perfectly...
so yesterday my dear fetched me from work..
i didnt tell him that we're gonna meet my parents at geylang.. he didnt know..
haha..
so does my parents..
its a suprise meeting..
SURPRISE!!!! SURPRISE!!!
hahaha
i just love seeing their faces..
oooohhhh!! btw... i bought a new PHONE!!
ahahahaha.. yah again!!!
after 2mths.. AGAIN!!
i told u.. im a HP freak!
anyway i bought Nokie6288..
im loving it..
oh... psst.. im eyeing for another phone... Samsung..
hahaha
hey btw...
on the 16th of may,i wont be working at Raffles City anymore..
transferred to Marina Square..
darn boring place...
okay la... toodles everyone...

im super duper sad... i really give up in everything... everything is destroyed..
i just hate everything that really suppose not to happen but happen.. yesterday planned to go out right??
guess what??

we didnt....

as usual...

he get caught up by something at work..
shagged...
over-shot...
me called..
many many many times...
after many many many times...
den he picked up...
quarell...
we didnt went out..
but i did...
went out with sky.....
he just dont bother...
i dont bother..
went to causeway...
he didnt call..
but kak lina did..
something happened at work..
one of the customer...
my customer to be exact...
she used stolen credit card...
i didnt check the signature..
i didnt check the card name..
she rushed me..
i dont know whats the outcome...
maybe i've to pay the items that she bought..
bank retrived back the stuff that being transmitted..
so i've to pay for the losses...
worst scenario... i get terminated for my carelessness...
i dont care anymore for anything..
so back to my story..
went to causeway...
surveyed for a new hp...
den got no mood anymore..
sky consoled me...
off we went to play pool at orchard...
den went to bugis...
surveyed for hp... its 7plus..
still no sign of any messages from naz..
i called him.. but didnt picked it up...
afterawhile..
he called...
we talked...
he seems that he got no interest in having conversation...
i called him on and off..
he wanted to meet...
but im still angry with him...
its not that im with sky...
sky very understanding..
eventho he dont know whats going on..
but he just wants to know if im gonna be alright..
i know i wont be...
thats y we didnt meet...
i didnt buy anything today.. wanted to..
but haiz...
den went home damn early...
i reached home at around 9pm...
at night we quarelled again...
10pm..
quarelled..
11pm..
same thing...
12pm...
it seems that its never ending...
1pm...
things got worst...
1.30pm..
i didnt know what happened already..
6.30pm
no messages from him...

i thought he's having his OT today...
haiz...
whatever...
if it ends this way...
den be it...
im sick with everything...
maybe we're not fit for each other...
maybe im not ready...

whatever reason...
still im dissapointed with everyone...
dissapointed with him and myself...

i shall end my entry here now...

ouh yah... sky didnt know what happened to me and naz..
its not a topic in out conversation.. but he somehow knew i was sad..
he told me not to..
he will do anything to make me happy..
just dont let sky know the reason that makes me sad..
still... thanks sky...

haiz... today is my off day.... freaking tired... not enough strength at my work place... haiz... we have part timers but cannot committed... urgh!! darn!!! anyway... today i dont know what i wanna do with my dear... either slacked around... den have some pizza... or shopping... i wanna shop for my mp3... im in need of mp3 desperately...seriously i do... aarrgghh!!! money money money...
so sianz... so what should i do?? my dear isnt home yet... get caught up by his work or something.. if he's late... it means... he wont be able have sufficient sleep... if he dont have sufficient sleep, lesser chance i can go out early... sianzzzzz la..... well i should end here now..
so boring...
anyway yesterday he was there when im in need of help.. mcm jadi super hero katekan... tapi at last.. breakfast on me... heh!! Kak lina is being a very understanding lady... she helped me something...

hell yeah.. today is my off day... woke up at 11.30pm... den talked to my mum about stuff till 1plus... bathed and off we go to GEYLANG... i was surveying about marriage.. so far... no hiccups.. the prices and my budget are all tally... infact my budget is moooooorree than enough... i surveyed berkat and also invitations cards.. its was a fun experience.. just cant wait for OUR big day...
ok la i got nothing much to say... well i rather end my entry here... so till den... gdbye everyone...