My Secrets

2008-06-08T21:29:00.001+08:00

IVE MOVED....

TO

MEMEMEJUSTME.BLOGSPOT.COM

2008-06-07T11:52:00.003+08:00

so today... rainy day... will be going out alone since naz not meeting me today.. ouh well... he dont misses me... i need to listen to him... then wat about my feelings? ouh well.. he dont care... hehehe... he really dont care...

2008-06-05T18:54:00.002+08:00

so ok guys... imagine having these tiny red dots all over ur body...

gatal beb.... hhmmmmm.....

my stuff... Loreal make ups, shampoo and my rashes lotion..

aahhh this one... the necklace that i bought myself yesterday.. nice??? hehehehe.. i loike....

2008-06-04T22:46:00.002+08:00

so basicly its rashes due to the virus that i got infected last week... sigh.. oh before i fergot i would like to announce somthing in here...

DEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY TWO YEARS AND NINE MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

another 3more months to 3years of together and another 6more months to our BIG DAY!!!

the day that we gonna announce HUSBAND AND WIFE!!!!

best kan... hehehe....

so earlier today despite the rashes i had,my mum and i went to geylang...
we bought necklace... at MEYSON.. ouh well.. after trading in my old necklace i just need to top up $55.. use my own money yah... my mum wanna pay it for me.. but then if she did,no birthday present for me... so.. i rejected that idea...

then ate our lunch at banquet.. since my stomach wasnt in a stable mode,i ate a lil bit only.. i had fish and chip while my mum had chicken chop.. so bought myself some VCD at poh kim and some of my daily needs at watson...

its been quite sometime i didnt had this outing with her... well after 6days of being SICK,at last im out of the house... hehehe...

nothing much to blog actually... have few pix.. will upload them tommorow... so till next time...

2008-06-04T11:22:00.001+08:00

aaaarrrggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lepas satu, satu...

yesterday small tiny red dots appears on my arms... lots and lots of it...
cant sleep the whole night..

rashes or chicken pox??? haiz....

alhamdullilah

2008-06-03T09:26:00.001+08:00

Syukur kepade Allah.. after 5days of fighting the virus,fever, low blood pressure and severe headache. im recovering... not 100% but still recovering... my body still weak... im trying my very best to fight it... i lost alot of weight...

2008-05-31T13:45:00.003+08:00

im a sick baby.. its been 2days im down with fever... my last day at levis,i was on mc... haizzz.... i am sure they think ill of me... but seriously.. im sick... my manaeger keep on calling regarding this particular jeans... but its really not my problem anymore... im no longer working under jay gee... but today i will b going to levis marina square to pass my mc... i really feel suspicious about this faincee of mine... he went out of the house,never msged me.. he even off his hp... we are suppose to meet at around 215.. but then we already went out at 115... i know the journey from his place to mine only need 30min... what is he going out so early???? how come never msged me anything and how come he offed his hp...

im going to wait for his call.. i wont get ready any sooner.. jz wait for his call...

2008-05-28T23:58:00.002+08:00

wello... wello... im back from work.. today gonna be my 3rd last day... bt i thought of nt turning up on the fri... my last day there.. simply because they wanna me to stay till late due to mid night sale... im sorry,babe..

earlier on met my fiancee... we talked at the void deck.. he will be going reservist tommorow... hate all these things... but thats kay.... on sunday.. he gonna teman me to go to some jemputan... dpt jumpe.. yeay2

im turning in....

gdnite

2008-05-26T17:40:00.002+08:00

so boo!!!!!!! today is my off day... went to northpoint.. i thought of wanting to buy a gold necklace n pendant... so i dropped by this shop.. TAKA JEWELRY!!!! i quarell with the sales assistant.. screw u,bitch.. who the hell u think u are.. u think malay customers dont understand mandarin.. i understand a single freak u were saying,bitch.. padan muke kene dgn aku...i told her that i wanna to talk to her in-charge.... she said the in charge is nt in at the moment... and she asked me why.. so i replied to her in mandarin,mind u... i asked her why she told her colleague that im MAH FANT!!!! well she was shocked u see to hear and actually believing that i can speak in CHINESE....... if u think im troublesome,go n screw urself and dont work as customer servicer provider.... poor customer service...

urgh!!!!

okay lets drop the subject.. so yesterday night.. he called me... suprisingly he called... he didnt want to let me go... i was suprised... stiff conversation also... seriously.. my heart became numb lil bit yesterday... try and imagine this... been holding and bearing my anger for the past 2 and half years.. i only blowed up once... seriously.. burok kalau aku mengamuk... tolong.. jgn la mintak i mengamuk... pls........... im nt like u.. suke tunjuk perasaan..... selagi i leh sabar n nak sabar.. i akan sabar... whatever la ehk....................

pls win my heart back... im like moving away frm u...

well thats for all.... bye all..

2008-05-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

okay just reached home... thought of meeting HIM after work... but THEN!!!!!!!!
he went out with his frens... so kay fine... he said he gonna call me at around 11plus... i dn know hw true is that.... bt whatever it is... im sure all prepared to hear anything... hmm... somethings telling me tt he gonna agree to let me go.. well good for him if he were to do that.. like i say... IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!!!!!!!

so back to my life... so im counting down to my last day of work... wowoooowowowowowhhhhoooooooooooo.......................................
tommorow im off.. so another 4more working days.. and after that....
GOODBYE JAY GEE MELWANI!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOODBYE LEVIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THEN 2weeks of freedom!!!!!!!!!! im gonna shop one of the days uh...
buy new clothes for my new work... well hey... im the type of person who is sooo casual.. i dont really dress up... but this work need to me dress up.. wth!!! hhmmpppzz!!!!!! so what should i wear?????? any ideas??? n u knw... majority of my frens who knows that im switching to UOB.. they will go...
"Engkau pakai Office wear??????!!!! hahahaha... confrim terbalik siak dunia!!!!!!"
or
"Eh kau dpt kerje office... kau ader diploma???"
and only minority
"Alhamdullilah.. kau dpt kerje yg lebih baik dari sekarang... rezeki tu"
even my mum dont give me such support... my mum told me..
"hhhmmm tgk jer la kau leh tahan ngan kerje ni tak... kau tu mane leh duduk kerje diam2 nyer..."

hhmmm... entah la...

so hey.. today after work, aku gi main pool kat lucky plaza... play pool with sky... mendak betul main ngan dier... tak der fight... he was suprised that my "skill" semakin bagus... and on top of that.. ader satu chinese ni ajak aku challenge siul ngan aku.... tapi kan... aku kalah.. well aku kalah secare percume.. its my last ball but then aku termasuk lobang yg aku tak aim.... whatever it is aku puas hati uh... hehehe... dier ajak aku main lagi satu round then aku ckp uh aku Go to GO ... kecian sky tunggu aku... well maybe one of the reason aku main quite power than other days coz aku tgh pikiran pasal naz... entah la... hati aku tak tenang.. even at this very moment... tapi of course ketawer terbahak2 when main ngan sky.. dier siak... aku tgh shoot kacau muke aku la... cue aku la... aku geram2 aku ckp..." suke eh kacau2 i... i tau la.. i main bagus..." and he went... " ah ini la dier orgnyer... muke tak tau malu.... hehehehe... masuk bakul angkat sendirik".. siak dier... hhmm tk per2......

so after that pergi Orchard point jap... jumpe lyn... aku at first ajak dier if dier free uh.. tapi alankgkah boring nyer... dier kerje afternoon.. yg lain2 sume sibuk ngan husband, family, fiancee and boyfriend.. so boh pient uh kuar ngan sky.. sky pun bosan kat umah... aku tgk lyn kecian uh... entah la... dier citekan aku pasal hidup dier ngan fiancee dier dulu... haiz... ader org yg lagi rabak dari aku... and ader org lagi SIOW dari aku... haiz............... tapi tak per... aku just proceed with the break when he agreed to it.. its for his own good uh... aku aper ader.. selalu menyakitkan hati dier... ok la... thats for all.... aku tgh tgu call si dek ni...

2008-05-25T00:00:00.003+08:00

BABI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AKU CALL MCM NAK GILER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TAK ANGKAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FINE UH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
aku nak try slow talk... bt then.... haiz...
tk pe la... mmg da nasib aku gini....

okay.. im turning in...

PS: SUFFY sorry i tk dpt turun ur special day.. im working.. anyway congratez....

2008-05-24T09:41:00.004+08:00

YES I LOVE HIM!!! patience??? getting thinner...
aper benefit if i were to carry on???
i was blamed for everything.. having me in his life is pure miserable...
for what he wants to be someone who makes his life miserable????
u think he wants tat??? i dont think so........
semakin hari hati aku semakin beku...
im preparing myself to hear the words from his mouth...
the words that gonna seperate us.........
i dont want to shed any tears........

hey u know what?? i dont think i can wait any longer....
Reason being my dad gonna downpayment to the caterer very soon..
somewhere early next month.. haiz...
maybe i should give him a call... i shld be prepared to get his scoldings again..
wanna knw why??? because i pester him with the decision making...
but i got no choice... if i were to wait for his answer on the 18th of june and the answers gonna be the ones that i predicted, whats the point my dad waste his money on the caterer.. im very sure he gonna get furious with me.. frustrated of course... im sure he gonna blame me... oh well.. as usual.. me the caused.. i think i was born by mistake... haiz.. so okay..if his decision wants me to stay, then im relieved... but hahaha.. that wont happen........................

why am i so confident that he gonna agree to let me go??? like i say,im not worth it...

so lets talk about yesterday.. sucks la yeah.. bt.. i had fun... besh giler... ader org kekenal ngan i... cibai irving.. kasi number aku... ok la not bad... tapi tak layan uh.. aku tgh pening pasal mat aku ni...

okay la... aku try call dier...

hello

2008-05-23T00:43:00.005+08:00

hello,everyone... hey... will be deleting this blog soon... simply because.. i wanna move on... i wanna delete my past... how i wish i can delete my memories with him just like that deleting this blog... just click delete and "POOF!!!!!!!!!" its deleted... u know...i know that he will let me go. he is taking his time to say it... u wanna know why?? because im nt worth to be by his side... he dont need me... he just dont... i know he will be okay without me... perhaps he is better off without me.. well as u all know me... im bad... nothing good about me... ZERO... tuuuttttuuuutttt..... just take your time to say it,okay??? and hey... next time dont say all those sweet words when u dn mean it okay...?? it hurts to know that its just sweet words coming out from ur mouth n not from ur heart.. dn say it wen u dn meant it sincerely................

earlier had a long talk with him... well basicly he made me feel that i was the caused for everything.. yeah.. he's right.. im the caused... accepted it... so already made up my mind that he is better off without me... he said he needed time to think.. so i gave him time... i told him to think it over till he comes back from his reservist... i think its 18th of o june... yah.. thats the day when i will be reporting to my new work at uob.. reporting my first day... and in the same time 2days before my birthday.. who knws we will eventually broke up on my birthday.. dont worry la,dear.. i will be prepared for it okay...

haiz...

just matter of time..... there will be no more mydarklittlesecrets... ouh well... so how was my day 22/05??? well the day went by slow... i dont know why....

today gonna be a long day ahead... wanna know why??? because i need to relief at Plaza Singapura till midnight.. they will be having mid night sale... have to help out.... yah so why me?? well its always been me lor... ok la dats for all... im outta here..... gd nite everybody..

I love u and miss u...

PS: dont say that u ever love me when u dont mean it... dont leave it left said with just sweet words of urs.... it hurts.... rest assured about whatever i ever tell u.. because whatever i said.. i sincerely mean it....

sweet dreams,syg... gd nite...
Muacks!! Muacks!! Muacks!!!!

2008-05-22T11:09:00.002+08:00

okay.. im back with this url.. like i say i didnt delete the blog.. just changed the url.. the purpose im writing here now.. simply because i want him to read somethings in here.. anyway... i say this cute QUOTE somewhere...

so its been 3 1/2 days i didnt hear his voice.. we didnt communicate at all on the phone.. all we did was.....

me msging him ..........

"d,b da otw hm."

"b da otw 2 werk."

"b hm."

same goes to him...

well whatever la ehk... yesterday i didnt get any msgs frm him when he reached home... maybe dier luper or sengajer or maybe kuar or what...

whatever la... i really da malas nak pk ni sume... oh ya.. btw... i contacted back sky... yes!! SKY.. i need a shoulder to cry on.... as for my tunang, i dun think he eva take note of his actions... u wanna know why..

simply because....

i hold on to my words... i want to change for the better.. i dont want to angry at him over little things.. i wont show any true emotions like bingit membingit... i talked to him in my soft tones.. try to stay calm... and what was his reactions????

PEKIK2!!!!!!!!!!!

TENGKING HERDIK!!!!!!!!!!

EVEN ACCUSED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

who the hell he thinks i am????

adik2 kau....??? kawan2 kau????????????

adik2 kau n kawan2 kau pun kau tak buat gini lar!!!!

haiz.. ape la nasib aku.... ape aku buat serba serbi tak kene... mungkin aku ngan dier tak ader jodoh... entah la.. sampai mane aku nak bertahan menahan perasaan... haiz....

on last monday,after we came back from melaka,his back experiencing some muscle strains...

at first i wanna meet him.. den he said he was sick... keep on shouting that he was sick.. was dissapointed uh.. but then i told him to go clinic... den he flared at me... later... i said wats the difference between later and now... then he said he wanna rest.. den i said fine uh... later i turun and accompany him... and u knw what was his reply?? he shouted at me saying that i dont trust him...

i was like... HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!! niat i nak accompany him... nak jumpe dier... tak pasal uh after clinic he wants to rest at home... go ahead... i just go back on my own... i dont mind... as long dpt jumpe jap and accompany him....

haiz.... i was dissapointed and all... i dont know whatelse i wanna do... i was being patience... i was holding back my emotions controlling my anger... he just flared.... as if he totally dont care about my feelings....

haiz... i met sky right after that conversation with naz.... was crying... i just couldnt hold back my tears... we were relaxing by the beach and all... i was relaxed and all... chit chating... laughing.. it was a good night.. nevertheless my mind was thinking hard about him.... haiz... all this night, sky was the one accompany me to talk on the phone.. keep my mind off him.. if he was not around,i would be come crazy for all naz's doing... i just want him to change... i want him to change for the better...

if i n him cant work out, all i want him to do is to tell my parents that im not the caused for all this mishaps... its him that cant changed.. im changing and i wanna change... as for him... haiz... speechless... and i dont want him to think that its because of sky that we broke up.. no.. its not becuase of sky... its because diri sendiri tak betul.... haiz.... whatever it is... i want him to know... that i love him all my heart and evenif we wont be together later on,i have no regrets having him in my life... i became stronger... but hey.. just remember back in my mind, i will still want you to be in my arms back... someone who has change for a better man...

dear... if u really cant changed... u knw wt u shld do.. dn hold me back too long...

ps: i love you..

went to melake

2008-05-19T12:57:00.002+08:00

so recently went Melaka with my parents,lil bro and my fiancee... the trip was alright.. just few set backs... there was this mak which was damn irritating... so mulut kecoh.. hate her... memekak... pekik2 scolding her kids... relek uh makcik... ggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....
then all the way,there was this pakcik pun memekak.. he was singing karaoke like nobody business... as if he owned that trip.. wtf... we all paid for that "enjoying" trip... suare sedap tk pe... ishk... that was the last time im going with that travel agency... sungguh mendak.... the tour guide... shoik sendirik..wteva la pakcik... as for my fiancee.. soo poor thing... his back aches.... hhmmmm........ will upload some pix wen i get my hands on them... hehehehehe... overall i enjoyed my days with him.. bt some tings to be improved on..gt to go now... bye..

2008-05-16T23:21:00.002+08:00

wello... everyone.... noone knows im having another account.. i juz changed the url.. thats all.. i wont delete this blog... oh.. its a no no thingy.. anyway earlier in the afternoon i met my girlfrens... really had fun... da lamer tk hang out gitu.. ouh well... i really dont care about him anymore... jgn harap aku nk baik2 ngan kau.... aku relek.. tak nak marah2 kau.. tapi kau pijak kepale aku.. dier ingat aku aper siol....

2008-05-15T17:12:00.003+08:00

BISMILLAHIRAHMANNIRAHIM

AKU BERSYUKUR KEPADE ALLAH KERANE ALLAH,TUHAN KU, TELAH MEMBERIKU REZEKI YG MURAH... KAU ADELAH SATU-SATUNYE TUHAN KU YANG MAHA PEMURAH DAN MAHA PENGASIH TERHADAP HAMBA2 MU INI.. AKU AKAN TABAH UNTUK MENGHADAPI SEGALE HALANGAN DAN COBAAN YG AKAN KAMU BERIKAN KEPADA KU KELAK... TABAHKAN HATI DAN KUATKAN IMANKU,YA ALLAH.. AMPUNKAN SEGALE DOSA2 KU DAN JUGA DOSA2 IBU BAPA KU... SELAMATKAN MEREKA DARIPADA SEGALE KESUSAHAN DIDUNIA DAN DIAKHIRAT..

RABANA ATINA FIDUNIA HASANA WAFIL AKHIRATI HASAN WAKINA AZABANNA.. AMIN AMIN RABIL ALAMIN..

TADI TENGAHHARI AKU GI SIGN MY CONTRACT CUM APPOINTMENT LETTER WITH ADDECCO... ALHAMDULLILAH.. SEGALENYER BERJALAN DGN LANCAR.. AKU BERSYUKUR WALAUPUN AKU SEKADAR ADER 2 CREDIT O LVL TETAPI AKU DITERIME BEKERJE.. WALAUPUN AKU AKAN BEKERJE DGN ORG YG ADER DIPLOMA N DEGREE HOLDER.. AKU AKAN TETAP TABAH DAN BELAJAR DAN JUDA DO MY BEST IN THIS COMPANY...

2008-05-14T11:13:00.003+08:00

this is my 111th entry... wahahahah... everyone was like happy mothers day kinda thingy... its a plain bullshit... everyday is mothers day.. u can make our moms smile everyday.. rememberance la konon... rememberance my foot... u dn need some kinda alarm to remind us that mums are special.. it should be from the heart... as for me personally.. making my mum smile and less worried for me is sufficient to make our mum happy and im the best daughter in the whole wide world... i mean.. cmon uh.. by giving our mums things can feel they are special?? our mum dont need such recognition.. all they need care, concern, love and attention from us.. thats all... its not i got no money to buy my mum things... but heck.. i gave her more than the value of money.. eventho i hurt her feelings... but i wont fail to win her love back... because she has the love that noone can actually shower to me n my life...

ok back to my life... so... tommorow gonna be the day... yeay... so stay tune..

excited

2008-05-09T12:40:00.004+08:00

guess what???? rezeki mendatang.. Alhamdullilah.. tak putus rezeki daripada YG MAHA ESA.. amin...

i got a job.. job that i always wanted...

working as sales marketing and finance at UOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

minah2 office la... tak pernah ku terbayang..

went for the interview... it was great... they were impressed by my personality and my confidence... my goodness i cant believe it... have to wear typical formal wear... hahaha.. need to buy some new clothes...

so my end of my services with jaygee melwani will be on 30th of may... and will be starting to work with UOB on the 18t of june.. that is 2days away from my birthday.. excited la bebey... hehehe.....

take note... i dun have any qualification.. no diploma no nothing... but i won the position... confidence, positive actions and most of all willingness to learn.. eagerness... hehe... yeay yeay..

so my dear accompanied me all the way.. waited for me for almost 30mins.. yesh.. the interview was actually around 20minutes.... im with them that long... i thought i wont be able to get the position due to my qualification but my dear build my confidence up.. he was very sweet... i love him.... and so the day after that, the interviewer called me up to ask me when can i sign my appointment letter... i was overjoyed.. it was indirect approached telling me that i got the job.. jhahahahahaha.. uber coolness...

will be going to his office on this coming thursday.. im sooooo excited..... but im sure i need to pass some written exam... i've to know all the things of uob within 2weeks... wish me luck...

a pic to share...

after the interview at United Square UOB

feels lyke crying

2008-05-01T09:43:00.003+08:00

ok so... im crying suddenly.. im not too sure why... i saw my friend's wedding photo and has my all other ex-classmates in it.. we are all grown up and our own paths... i still remember when we were in secondary school.. the selenger bachin in us.. haha..

den i saw someone's love video.. how do met and all... its all sweet tho... well my love life isnt that sweet however im apreciating it every second but of course minus all the pain that he caused of course.. forgive him but never forget... hehehehe....

so my last day would be on the 29th may.. haiz... im sure i will be all teary.. this current company was the longest that i stay... the rest less than a year.. no no.. less than 7months.. which is around half a year... ouh well.. for now not gonna look for another job.. relax for awhile.. deary is being understanding.. letting me to rest like amonth or so... oh dont worry about my wedding's saving... for what i've now is sufficient..

mak andam, invitation cards, henna and naz extra helping hand...

its all more than enough.. about the money downpayment for the house has its solution alreadu.. but we wont count on it soo much...

well got to go now... got to get bath and dress.. meeting my deary later... will be having a heavy breakfast at changi... wwwooooowweeee... gdbye everyone...

at last

2008-04-30T10:29:00.002+08:00

so my last day would be either on 29th may or 19th may.. simply because the sooner i get out of that place the better... aku ader ker tak der ker kat levis... tetap itu levis bukak per... aku takder bukannyer itu levis go bankrupt... i hate henry and sam!!!!!!!!!!

106th post

2008-04-27T09:27:00.002+08:00

hello... okay one news im gonna break in here... im gonna quit my job real soon.. im sick and tired of this current job... imagine u're on mc and the manager made a real big fuss about it... why because its weekend... wtf!!!!! the manager even gonna chnged my off day to the day i took my off... its ridiculous... urgh im not gonna say anyting anymore....im just gonna end my entry here... fuck JAY GEE

2008-04-20T23:10:00.000+08:00

BOO!!! IM HAPPY!! THATS ALL MATTERS!!!!

stoopind day

2008-04-16T00:40:00.003+08:00

so today a reallllll stuuppiiiiiddd day for me.. so dear accompanied me during lunch cum dinner at around 430pm... we were like soo laughing n soo much fun... well i can see we missed each other company.. i didnt realized that my BONIA purse was not with me... i was like searching for it high and low.. and most of all i only realized my purse was not with me when i finished my break and my dear already on his way back home... i was like oh gosh... was smsing my dear regarding it.. and i was like relieved wen he told me that the purse was with him... he didnt come to VIVO to give me my purse back as he is working today... so we will be meeting after his work.. he will come to my place to pass my purse.. poor dear.. will be having our breakfast together tommorow.. i am sooo cant wait... ok i got to go... bye all...

103

2008-04-14T23:48:00.002+08:00

i got few good news

1) i will be getting some cash end of this month.. some GST OFFSET PACKAGE thingy... ini untuk orang2 yg 21 tahun dan keatas.. so budak2 yg belum lagi cukup umor.. tolong tgk jer okay??? hahaha.. jahat seh aku... well syukur allahamdullilah..
2) me n him.. da okay la dok.. nope i didnt msged him and he didnt msged me.. but i called him.. no i didnt talk nively.. i just need to vent my anger out... so our conversation lasted less than 5minutes... and that less than 5minute conversation turned out to be okay... we are back together... there was one part where he said was soo tounching... "i masih loving-ly ngan u lar"... hehe..
3) my abg sponsor berkat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4) photobucket da okay.....

my hamster.. snow n puteh

102 post

2008-04-14T01:11:00.002+08:00

guess what??? today i took an urgent leave.... im really not in the mood to work.. besides i broke down and cried... i was outside.. was talking to this particular person on the phone.. and i broke down... hystericallly cried.. so we met... out of friendship... that particular person accompanied me.. brought along with others... bought a tent and headed down to east coast beach... oh if u are thinking of sky.. let me give u another hint.. went there by bus and cab... so u tink its sky???? go n figure out.. my head wasnt in a gd shape.. migrains.... fuck i hate it... we all mandi2 uh... eventho i was there all smilling but only god knows that im thinking of him... i read the message that i gave him last 2days.. the one and only message... thats the last time i messaged him... oh btw the way today another successful day that i didnt contact him... i just need to keep telling myself that he is better off without me.... okay back to the story....after the mandi2,we left at around 9plus... den had our dinner and then went back home... took 31 and alighted at tamp interchange... and after that took 969... so reached home at around 11plus.. i feel like slapping myself... wnna knw?? simply because im soo stupid.. im all sad abt the break up thingy.. cried and all... but what about him?? i bet he is sleeping away and busy at work... i dont ever thinks that he ever thinks of me... ouh well... like i say... i think he is happy now... happy without me... well thats good uh... starting to miss him badly but i have to have my stand... i must just let it go... he is better off without me....

oh well... its 0121hrs.. im still wide awake.. i should take some rest..working afternoon shift... will be doing closing at vivo.. ouh well... just helping out... once in awhile.. wont hurt,right€????

gd nite...

101 post

2008-04-13T10:23:00.004+08:00

first of all thanx for the advice fy.. but im really sicked and tired of getting taking advantage of... i mean.. i really gave it up... i mean who cares.. u think he cares??? if he cares,he would look for me by now... do u think if he mind losing me??? hell no... well congratulations to myself... i didnt even have a thought of contacting him the whole day which is yesterday.... i will not give in this time... and if my actions now would end up in a big mess... let it be... if he dont give a single damn thing,i dont see why must i give a shit of it...

eventho i am sad abt the whole thingy,i still have to accept the fact uh... that he is better of without me.. i know he is angry.. forever angry... he has never have the thought to make things right... coax me or whatever tingy.. but to think of coaxing, i dont think it will ever happen... well from the start i know he keeps on yelling at me... "U SHOULD KNOW WHAT??!!! I MANE TAHU NAK PUJUK??!!!" so sue,get that in ur brain that such thing wont happen.... so again he will just wait there for me to messaged me and all.. he wont be the one to mesaged me first uh... ego uh... or maybe take things for granted that i will come beg and beg him.. make him feel superior... make him feel that he is way bigger than me and i should tunduk to him... well this has to stop.... i cant keep on doing it again and again.. it really eating me inside...

2008-04-12T23:31:00.002+08:00

orite this my 100th entry.. hehe whatever... im trying my very best to stay cool as much as i can.. i let my dear go yesterday.. i didnt hear from him eversince and i didnt even msged him... seriously im noone special... i got nothing to be my his side... yes im looking down on myself.. as much as he told me to... i just cant help.. its really stuck in my brain... a loser i am... well i guess its okay... as long as i feel like he deserve someone better,i will just stay away.. wont be contacting him... i mean what i say this time... i dont want him to suffer.... i dont want him to divorce me at the end of the day... im just not good enough.. maybe someone else is much more better being patience for him and be the right gal... im nowhere any of it... haiz...
let me summarize what i think of myself...

1) big spender
-like to buy thing that i dont really need.
e.g threw 1/4popcorns after the movie. bought a big combo eventho i juz had my meal. bought the combo juz because i want to munch the popcorns.
2) rude child
- remain quiet
e.g someone came but i didnt went out to SALAM the visitor. reason being i was very sad and angry mode.
3) jinx
- brings bad luck/shameful to family
e.g i smoke. Good GIrls dont smoke...
4) super emotional
- cried over simple things
e.g little bad remark that was threw at me from my mother,makes me cry.
5) has low esteem
- thinks nothing but bad of myself.
6) childish
- asked for a break up when we are in big mess...

he deserve much more better girls than me....

2008-04-08T10:55:00.004+08:00

aarrgghhhhhhh.... immmm freaking booorreedd... cant upload a single shit on my photobucket.... i wanna upload things in here but due to ERROR in photobucket... i cant.. hhaaiiizzz..

as days goes by,im getting more and more lazy to upload my blog... but hhmm... anyway.. baby and me just completed our khursus.... last day of our khursus, we quarelled.. but we are okay after the whole day of khursus... and guezz what?? i didnt ate the whole day.. imagine the day before our last day of khursus,i didnt ate a single thing... from evening till the next day evening... 24hours of not eating.. so whats the consequences??? gastric pain.... hhhaaaiizzzz... but its okay.. as long as we are better after that...

so next month,we need to go to hdb place to seek for their advice, what kind of house we are eligible to apply... so that we can make the final decision when is the right time to apply for our house... what kinda house we should be looking for... where is the location we should look for and how much we should get ready to apply for the house...

as for june,nothing much.. just celebrating my 23rd birthday...

AND SO.... starting from july gonna be very busy for us...

2008-04-04T22:58:00.001+08:00

im back.. nothing much 2 update... i bought 2 hamster... hahahaha...
presenting snow n putih.....
shall upload pics ltr.... i gt no mood 2 update... bye

khusus

2008-03-30T22:18:00.003+08:00

so today we went to pre marriage course... it was alright uh... just some lecturer are kinda boring... dear woke up as early as 530am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he woke me up at 6am.... met at around 7plus had some breakfast at mcdonald and off we went to MPCC...overall i should rate 7/10...

so the nest khusus would be next week on the 6th april... hehehheeeeeee....

in anyway we settled the stiffness between us in not a quite pleasant way but still overcome everything...

every quarell teaches us new things and new discoveries.. if we cant succeed to overcome a problem... there are always another ways to overcome things...

oh another thing.. DOESNT MEAN U HAD A 6DONKEY YEARS OF RELATIONSHIP... U KNW THAT PERSON UPSIDE DOWN....

2008-03-25T09:27:00.002+08:00

so this is it... another shit...
this what happened..
the day before yesterday and the day before that which was a saturday...
i told naz if he could picked me up after work on sunday as he was having his off day..
he agreed to it...but then afterawhile i found out that there was a soccer match..
liverpool vs man U..
so he suggested to watch the soccer with me at one of the coffee shops...
so i agreed caused i thought that it will finished at 11pm since it started at 930...
please take note i dont really fancy watching soccer and i dont have any idea what time it ended... and please take another note on sunday and monday i was in the full shift...
then on sunday itself, i called him..... i asked him around at what time the soccer match ended..
and he told me it ended at around 12am... i was like WTF!!!!! IM GONNA BE SHAGGED LIKE HELL IF I STAY UP THAT LATE........
SO I said i cant watched the soccer with u.. just send me home and stay for awhile as usual...
he was being cranky for me not watchng the soccer...
fuck uh... im full sift siak tommorow...
den i said fine....
nak tgk sgt soccer??? go ahead.. tk payah fetch me home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE INSISTED..
SO I THOUGHT HE REALLY GONNA GIVE IN TO ME..
HE ONCE TOLD ME THAT TAK PER UH SACRIFICE TAK DPT TGK BOLA... INSTEAD SPEND TIME WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO fetched me...
was still in the mad mood because i got a feeling he gonna just send me home and he will rushed home...

WTF UH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! betul la fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he did just as that....
kanina...
u knw he once told me... he wants me to spend time with him 100%... he dont wan me to meet other people or make other plans if i want to go out with him..

but fuck uh!!!! he dont treat me like he wants me to treat me... he has been like this since i got to know him!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he wont change and he will never change....

he wants me not to contct sky... and i did...
i swear i did.... i told me im gonna be all lonely..
and he will make time for me.....
now his shift was like all the way night shift.....
so wen im awake,he's sleeping...
and wen im sleeping,he's awake on job...
hhhhaaaiiiiiizzzzzz...

not even his off,he can spend time with me...
how sickening is that....

one year

2008-03-17T12:28:00.003+08:00

today is the day where we are officially together.. blessed by both parents..
exactly one year ago, both of us are busy with engagement preparations... yep.. we are engaged.. another 6more months to our ROMM and 9more months would be our big big day... cant wait... this year gonna be the last year im gonna celebrate hari raya with my parents and last year im gonna celebrate things together with my parents... next year would be a different... things gonna change... time really flies..

so i edited the "2008 EVENT" area
cancelled out the march event..
our pre-marriage course would be on the 30th march and 6th of april..
from the looks of it..
we are free from middle of April till July.. except for my 23rd birthday... not to be missed yah... hehehe..
after June which is starting july, da start busy..
hehehe.. duk dak duk dak.. jantung ku berdentum...

so next event would be..

Khusus RumahTangge...

aper la yg ader kat situ... mcm2 bende kelakar seram aku dgr pasal Khusus tu....

after tu khusus da selesai.. 2bulan lepak... except for BIRTHDAY aku YG KEDUA PULUH TIGE TAHUN.... HAHAHAHAHA......

2008-03-11T23:31:00.003+08:00

we are back.. yeay... dier ckp dier tak nak let go... well me too... hug hugs...
anyway we already booked our khursus... its on 30th march n 6th april.. semangat amek leave dok... hehehe....

so last sat gi picnic.. happeninng...... adek2 dier bully aku siuts... tapi yg penting aku had fun... ok lar itu sajer ku nak blog... bubye...

2008-03-06T21:17:00.001+08:00

im leaving........

for while...

or

forever....

we shall see.. if everything is deleted means...

im moving on....

if its still here....

we are standing strong....

things changed again

2008-03-04T21:04:00.002+08:00

well im all cool down already.. so... ape ehk aku nak ckp... aku ngan si naz... my dear la... saper lagik.. aku just tunggu for his call.. aku da tak leh contact dier... so aku tunggu dier contact aku uh... aku just let him be... aku pun da penat nak go through ni sumer... ape nak jadi... jadi la... kalau sampai putus, putus lar... of course la sedihkan.. but im sure i can pull it through.. dier per heran aku tak der dlm hidup dier... aku tak akan rase bad for what happen... becaUse seriously i didnt plan this senario... it just happpened!!! ape yg terjadi kat dier terjadi kat aku time dulu2.. aku sumpah uh... aku tak der niat nak buat balik.. aku tak terpikir pun nak buat sedemikan... anyway just briefly aku citekan ape yg terjadi...

mek,kwn sky, ajak aku gi escort.
aku tak janji.
bile pikir2 balik...
alah pergi jer uh..
lagipun aku nak amek duit yg sky hutang aku...
furthermore mek seorang yg kelakar seram n well respected..
so tak per uh... aku ckp ok...
tapi still aku ckp mungkin ader changes.... tak mu harap2kan sgt lar ehk...
aku tak bilang perihal ni kat naz.. pasal aku tak nak dier kecik hati... because aku last week aku baru dpt tahu dier off on that day.. so aku tak berape heran uh pasal aku ingatkan dier ader ot or bola... so if ader bola... after dier bola and lepas aku escort lei jumper uh... but then.............
tak der bola n tak amek ot.. so dier plan uh nak kuar sumer..........
aku pun okay go.............
den pikiran uh bile nak jumpe si sky... si sky ni mcm elak2 aku pasal entah la... mungkin hutang dier kat aku kot... tapi tak mungkin uh....pasal hutang dier tak sebrape setakat 60ketul.... do aku tak berpikiran sgt uh...
tibe mase....
jeng jeng jeng...
HUJAN LLLAARRR!!!!
den kat yishun tak hujan.. so at first aku nak cancel uh....
naz mengamuk uh bile aku cancel...
den quarell... so aku ingatkan... fine uh... aku gi escort dulu den jmp dier dlm 2plus uh... pasal escort dier from yishun to yishun jugak... so tak amek mase yg lamer...tapi tak sempat aku nak explain... naz da main letak2 hp... marah2 la of course.. so aku just proceed uh jmp si sky.. bilang mek etc2.... sky pun turun amek aku... dlm kul 1230 uh yg aku jumpe dier... try to get through naz tak dpt... dier off hp... lepas escort pun tak dpt get through... so aku buat bodoh uh ngan dier.. mungkin dier tgh tido after all those nasty things... so lepas escort aku gi hospital tgk kawan mek accident... dlm ICU seh.... haiz... kecian... after that gi mkn uh ngan budak2 havana... reached home at around 9plus plus.. gedak gedebuk.. aku call la tu mat... kiwak.. his forever marah2.. change??? still the same la ehk... watever..

so tak call aku semlm... biarkan.... nari???? i dun think so... haha... biarla... aku nak main psp aku... bye sumer....

2008-03-03T23:56:00.002+08:00

PISSED

ANGRY

SAD

SHATTERED

HEARTBROKEN

WORRIED

EVERYTHING NEGATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHATEVER UH!!!!!!!!!!!!
I JUST FUCKING GO WITH THE FLOW!!!

hhaapppyy

2008-03-01T08:57:00.002+08:00

ssssooooooooo... semlm aku nyer gaji... i bought a bag levi's signature and a top my elder brother... birthday dier siuts... aku beli beg tu specially utk gi picnic.. semangat kan... tak sabar hari 7th march.... pasal nak beli barang2 makanan utk gi picnic... besh kan... eeeeee... lloookkkiing forward giler nyer.... tak sabar nak gi picnic gitu.... hehehe... den on the 7th jugak gi booking khusus tu... hahaha... best best.. something to look forward... ok lar... itu sajer sayer nak blog utk hari ini... oh oh... btw... aku beli white PSP... best lllaarr... got 4g memory card.... usb cable.. crystal casing.... hahaha... basic nyer package.. tapi tak per... asalkan dpt main PSP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BBBEESSSTTTT GGGIIILLLLLEERRRR!!!! ok la tu sajer sayer nak blog... bubye sumer...

yyyaaaahhoooo

2008-02-26T11:58:00.003+08:00

a very gd afternoon everyone.. so today my off day... kinda bored u knw... these days i kept falling sick... not that sick sick... somewhere perut uh.. mcm ader sharp pain.. its not gastric or whatsoever.. kinda worried.. imagine tahan sakit sampai demam.....

oh btw... im looking for a new job.. nope.. not retail... biase la.. tak sasnggup kerje mcm nak rak tapi tak der org apreciate.. hhmmm... mmg betul gaji lumayan... i bring back home as much as 2K... smallest like 1.25k... sape tak hapi kan with that kinda pay... tapi entah la.. mungkin rezeki bukan dekat situ.. tak per la... im looking for more like happy working environment.. buat aper kerje for the sake of working when im not happy kan... evenif gaji kecik asalkan happy....

im looking forward to this 8th of march.. a big gathering of my family and naz family.... we will be going to the beach.. nak PICNIC!!!!!! its my idea.. yer la.. aku tak sgt gi rumah tunang aku.. sampai bapak dier ckp bile aku nak singgah sane.. so i made the initiative to ajak drg gi picnic uh... mandi2 saner... merapatkan diri aku dgn adik beradik dorang and his parents... if tk skrg... bile lagi kan.....

aku these days asyik teringatkan sky ajer... tak tau kenape.... rindu agaknyer... aku dulu rapt giler ngan dier.. tapi skrg.. haiz.... apekan daye.... for the sake of marriage in the future... tapi boring uh.... si naz tu asyik kerje jek... bosan..... hhhhaaaaiiiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzz..... aaaaakkkuuuuu bbbbooooooosssssssaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn..... ok la... aku nak outz from here.... bye sumer......

2008-02-20T10:19:00.002+08:00

da 4hari aku tak blog... ok la.. nothing much... my life with my dear darling semakin hebat dan hangat.. haiz... starting next mth jek aku da nak carik2 aku nyer khusus rumah tangge uh.. den lepas tu nak kene gi the khusus... ape la agaknyer dis khusus rumah tangge all about... gementar ader... takut ader.. alah byk bende la nak kene selesai.. masalah aku ngan sky.. end of this mth we gonna be in our seperate ways... aku akan rindu dier uh but what to do.. for tnhe sake of our future marriage and happiness, aku kene let go of him... hhhmmm...tapi bile the day aku da totally out from his life.. there will be me, dear and sky sitting all together and talk things... it gonna be all teary.... but tak per la...

so work is fine uh... trying my very best to really do whatever i can do to help.. kalau drg tk apreciate its their lost uh!!!! hahahaha.. ok boo...

aku letak shoutbox.. nothing to do uh... letak ajek... ok la.. itu saje yg ingin aku blog utk hari nik..... salam sejahtera everyone.... bubye...

HOOOLLLAA

2008-02-16T07:49:00.003+08:00

ok ni benda da basi... but heck.. Happy Valentine People!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so so so....
on the 13th went out with my darling to celebrate this special day....
I bought him Levis Jeans

so pssstt i didnt buy him with staff purchase mind u.. keeping the 40% to myself.. khekhekhe....

and he bought me a bonia purse

We had great dinner at Arnold.. oh btw we watched a stupid show...
Sweeney Todd...

cite lawak bodoh.. hahaha..

Lawa la muke gitu... hehe

aaallllaaahaiii...

Hold me n dn eva let me go,dear

wahduhhhhh... sedap giler nyer nik...

the nxt day... hehe... Sky gaf me a suprised... he gave me a Valentine Gift...

sweet kan....

hello

2008-02-13T12:34:00.003+08:00

OK im back blogging first and formost..
about work.. i am really sick and tired that people dont apreciate me for what i have done for them.. eventho OUT OF GOODWILL i did for them.... pissed off siah.....
watever shits uh... i wanna get out from that farking shop.. i dont wanna work with dannie or din... DANNIE AND DIN!! D!! D!!! BUNCH OF DONKEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! D FOR DONKEYS!!!! understand??? ok good...

so i promise to put up some pixs right??? so here i go...

hhmm.. so today my off day.. nak gi celebrate HARI KEKASIH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wweeee... i bought him a present.... hehehe... today im gonna have fun!!! ok i wanna go n dress up.. gdbye everyone... bubye!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-10T07:17:00.000+08:00

So ini adelah kali pertama aku blog using hp aku.. Ader wifi per.. Haha.. Aku da lamer tk update blog eh.. Aku purely malas n tk de time nk update.. Oh btw.. To all chinese,selamat menyambut lunar new yr ya.. As 4 aku,on cny was well spent wif dear n my family.. At nite g tgk fireworks kt esplanade! Ramai org n fireworks r nice.. So ok la 2.. If aku ade time,aku upload video n gambar2.. Ok.. Oh pst.. Aku tgh pikiran these days.. Dn ask why.. Haiz.. K la.. Got to go..

2008-02-02T23:22:00.000+08:00

okay....

my life didnt get any better.. i just dont bother things around me anymore la... earlier my family met the wedding planner for my side... and i just dont bother to listens.. setakat adekan badan.. si naz pun maner nak carik aku.. call aku ker aper ker... whatever la...

aku da naik malas....

as for sky... aku da nak totally let him go... for what uh....

oh btw aku tukar hp lagi... aku tukar n80 plak... hahaha... yesh uh... ader WLAN.. senang kater WIFI phone... muahahahahahahaha..........

boleh surf2 internet...

aku skrg shag siak.... these few days aku FULL shift den lepas kerje bukannyer aku balik... aku kuar....

kuar gi maner... hhmmm... ader la... cheh manernyer secretive jek aku ni...

aku setakat lepak2 uh...

mak aku da start bising2... standard uh... perangai lamer aku da start balik.... ah aku da heck care uh... da malas... aku concern pasal org.... tapi org ader amek concern pasal aku tak???? everyone wants me to go dorang nyer care... ader tak dorang pk pasal care aku?? WTF!!!

eh btw aku ader satu kemajuan dlm diri aku... da seminggu aku tak menghisap rokok... aku mcm nak quit uh.... eventho aku da gaji... aku mcm berat gitu nak beli rokok n smoke.. mcm tk de rase there is a need... so quit??? we shall see ehk...

ok la aku gtg.. bye sumer...

merepek

2008-01-30T14:38:00.000+08:00

merepek sak... aku blog hopped uh... den aku terbace abt this girl umor 20tahun and dier blog pasal sex life dier and not with one guy but many guys... she can have sex with 3 different guy in a week... wtf....

suke ati la nak... asalkan kau bahagia...
anyway aku tgh bored and sedih...
aku sedh ngan sky n naz....

these days aku asyik bertengkar dgn sky jer la... aku tak tau kenape... as for naz... entah la.. aku semakin bosan and tak look forward living with him... nak tau kenape??? simply because aku mcm naik boring dier asyik tengking2.... tahap kesabaran dier terlalu rendah.. seriously siah... dier try to control but seems that dier tak leh control lamer.... wtf... panas baran nak mampos... blah la... mungkin dier bukan utk aku kot.. or maybe i am just not good enough... either or we will lose each other...

aku kadang2 aku dpt merasekan aku nagn dier tak akan bersatu.... instinct katekan... kadang2 itu hanye permainan perasaan tapi kadang2 itu adelah amaran..

entah la...

as for sky... haiz... dier semakin berubah.. im losing him each day.. aku semakin mcm nak kan attention and in the end aku offend dier or dier offend aku.. end up kiter gaduh... hhhhaaaiiiizzzzz...

can i turn back time when i am single????????????

wen abg sha was around.... zai was around..... sky was super nice with me... when im surround with good guys...

now.... naz alone... wth!!!! its not that aku mcm tak happy uh... aku mcm kene kongkong.. bukan physically uh... tapi mcm emotionally... mcm selau berpendam rase... haiz.... BOSAN!!!!!

naz selalu bende yg aku tak nak dgr... he always end up saying the fucking wrong things... aku lum ctck2 dier lagi.. cume semalam aku sms dier pasal adik dier..

siak uh... aku dpt kejutan siul.. adik dier yg 2nd last tu... naqib..

DTG KAT TEMPAT KERJE AKU N MINTAK AKU NAK PINJAM DUIT!!!
WTF!!!!
BILE AKU CKP AKU LUM DRAW DUIT, DIER SUROH AKU KASI CARD AND PIN NUMBER AKU...
DIER NAK DRAW SENDIRIK..

MEMALUKAN SIAK DIS KINDA ACT.. I CANT BELIEVE HE is FUCKING DARING!!!! SHESH!!! MEPEK SIAK.. AND AKU BILANG MAK DIER UH!!! N U KNW WHAT.....die tIPU MAK SIAK!!!! KALAU ANAK AKU,AKU DA BERAMBAT NGAN PENYAPU...

to my assumptions,i dont think naz take any actions uh....well tau uh... si naz tu sebenarnyer mane nak amek kisah..........aku boleh agak either dier setakat memberi teguran 2 to 3 sentence den dats it... unlike nazreme.. kadang2 eh... aku mcm boleh dpt rasekan si nazreme ni betul amek berat terhadap adik2 dier... he is the most garang in the family... kalau si naz, aku leh kasi 2 words BUAT DEK!!!!!! if itu adik aku, aku da maki dier upside down... it really gives me wrong impression of his family...... aku bilang mak aku pasal this incident... and of course uh... my mum was in a great shock... and u knw what comes out from my mum's mouth.. eh jahat nyer... betul berani sampai mintak card ad pin number....

and to add things in here... i dont think he would ever tell his mum the truth uh....

suke hati la... tak kan selamat la if dier berterusan mcm gini...

i just pray he would change uh..

ish panjng betul aku blog nari... ok la aku nak gi mkn den tido.... besok gaji.... yeay2!!!!

well...

2008-01-23T08:38:00.000+08:00

a very gd morning everyone.. so time check.. its 838am...
its been quite sometime eversince i blog... malas betul nak blog these days...
ape eh aku nak blog... ouh on the 19th jan, aku gi pit at pasir ris dengan sky.. sky amek aku dari kerje morning shift den after that gi jmp one of his budak Havana kat tampines... something funny happen saner.... aku gi beli thread dekat one of the kedai den sky plak gi draw duit dier.. so selepas aku beli bende aku, aku hang around uh kat kedai kopi yg berdekatan disitu.. kiwak pey lamer aku tgu saner... so i called him... den aku dgr ringtone sky.. ah bagos uh... handphone dier dlm beg aku... not long after that an unknown number call.. its kwn sky... i think sky dgn dier and he used his fren to call me... kawan dier yg bobal ngan aku.. tanyer aku kat maner and all... aku ckp la dekat2 ngn kerete n kedai kopi... so its unclear statement.. aku tanyer krg kat maner.. aku dtg saner uh... so wen aku da jmp si kwn dier.. si sky plak tgh carik aku.. ah bagos la... so btw namer kwn sky yg cute tu... HAQ.... HAQ pun pi carik sky..... hahaha... yg sky gi ker timur and aku ke barat.. mcm maner nak jmp... so lepak2 saner jap.. kul 7,kiter blah... gi straight pit.. saner lepak uh... drg mengadekan pit ini kerane ulang tahun si sharin n anaknyer.. anak dier cute giler siak... perempuan.... yg ker tiga tahun... yg bapak dier plak... yg ker 27tahun.. da tuer yer member kiter ini.... rabak siak kene sabo... hahaha.. aku la jadi dorang nyer starter......
kul 11pm aku blah pasal aku nyer tunang da bising2.. aku ckp aku nak balik dlm kul2am lebih, dier tak kasi... boring sak... so bertekak sekejap uh ngan sky... kecian sky kene hantar aku...

so setakat itu jek yg happening dlm hidup aku...
aper lagi eh aku nak blog... aku ader few pix but malas nak upload coz.... gelap uh...

aper lagi eh aku nak blog..... so mcm maner persiapan aku..
aku semakin runsing uh....
aku naik bosan... nk pikirkan rumah... pikirkan wether si naz cukup duit tak... bleh bayar balik tak aper yg mak bapak dier pinjam... mcm rabak plak nak mintak duit yg dorang da pinjam.... argh bosan sak aku... naik benci pikirkan bende nik... pasal rumah... argh!! pening!!!!

ok la itu ajer.. bye all...

yeay

2008-01-12T00:26:00.000+08:00

ouh well.... 11months more... this is just the begining.... i am soooo happy..... i love u d!!!!

i am 3mths ahead!!! hhaahahahhaa

2008-01-08T00:52:00.000+08:00

so yesterday was my off day..
quarell with naz... urgh fuck... i dont wish to spill it out here...
not worth my energy to type it all here...
in simple words... he made me cry for misunderstood me all over..
as usual uh... tengking..
i dont think he can ever change..

tgk uh sampai maner aku leh tahan nonsense dier...

so how do i actually spent my day...

at 530pm,met sky at newton..
then had early dinner at serence center.. thought of makan OISHI but then tutop on monday.. whatever... so in the end makan mc at serene center uh.. after that at around 8pm, reached yishun central.. walked around... thought of buying another handphone.... but then hhmm... nvm...

so we dropped by to this aquarium shop... browse pun browse... bought myself fighting fishes.. 6 female fighting fishes and all in one tank.. no they dont fight.... simply because female and female dont fight.. only when the opposite sex...
the tank = $3
2 food = $4
pebbles = $4
fighting fishes = $4
total $15...

tak mahal uh... hehe..
reached my void deck at 9plus... lepas till 12am... talking about fish...
well i was like..
abg.. why uh they like dat...
why their tail like dat...
so i went on n on..
why this n why that..
i tink he got irritated...
he said this...
why cant u just keep quiet??

terdiam sak aku... so start lar aku merajuk..... haha.......

kecian... sky kene pujuk lor....

bt anyway, abg.. thanks for comforting n acompanying me to go here and there..

he was the one who chose the fishes... hehe.. sweet... anyway i wanted to give the fishes name.. but cant think of any...

hmmm..

so brought back home... my mum was shocked but ironicly she didnt make much noise...
surprisingly...

oh btw.. this 19th jan,im going to sky's Havana's friend's brithday pit... yeayness....limit2 mc lor.. haha.. so tts all...... gd day......

gdbye 2007

2007-12-28T13:15:00.000+08:00

so end of the year is drawing near..
let see whats the big big even happened in my life for this year...

late of january 2007
joined and worked under Jay Gee Melwani's Group.
Working in
its been 11months have passed.i learnt so many things.. hope i can achieved whatever things that i wanna achieved...

mid of march 2007... 17th march 2007 to be precise..
engaged with muhd nazri bin mhd noor.
its a another stage of an eternity bonding...
i hope we will be together till the end of time...

early of july..(o5.07.07)
a new member in the family..
Adly Salihin bin muhd shahril..
im an aunty!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehehe..

middle december 2007
Naz family came over to put the date for our wedding...
28/12/08
hhmm.... 2008 gonna be a fast one n memorable for naz n me...
so gdbye 2007....
say HELLO TO 2008..

im gonna miss someone who plays an important role in my life..
who never fail to be there for me whenever i need someone..
that is sky..
someone who makes me feels that things gonna be alrite...
i need to say gdbye to him too...
gosh.. feels like crying...
he is one of the reason why im standing strong in this relationship..
without him i am very sure i can end up in the hospital again...
but naz told me that he wanna change for the better of us...
i am very sure that i will be giving this chance to prove himself that he is willing to change and i will see him changing..
slowly...
last msg for him...
i know he wont be reading this.. but would like say it..
abg,chub would like to say i am very sorry if i hurt ur feelings..
i will always remember u in my mind and heart,abg..
noone can ever replace u... u r indeed someone special....
how i wish i can never lose u... but i have to... im with naz.. my happines is with him...
i hope naz and i can create happiness that we long for...
but abg thanks for the happiness that u created for me... not even naz gave me such happiness... abg,chub doakan abg akan jumpa seorg wanita yg akan mengharumi hidup abg..

naz... huney... i know u will feel sad for this confession but its the fact..
im leaving the happiness that was never meant to be mine forever.. im leaving for u...
i really hope u tak sia2kan i and sia2kan aper yg telah i lakukan... i really hope u gonna change...
im giving u this chance...

why am i crying??? why??????
maybe because im afraid the past repeat itself and i got noone to cheer me...im afraid naz gonna hurt me like in the past... how am i suppose to handle it??? what if he shout and raise his voice??? aku tak nak pendamkan rase kecewa dan sedih.. if aku buat gitu, aku takut one day aku tak dpt take it... please naz... lets build happiness... please let me feel that im needed in ur life....

im going to sleep...

back to blog again

2007-12-26T10:14:00.000+08:00

so... last 2 days.. went to bbq with other havana's peeps... nothing much... but had a good laugh n cheap fun.. heh...
as for yesterday, was my morning shift... ate dinner at pizza hut.. puas jugak makan pizza... later at night talk to him.. he n his forever temper.. geram aku.. lamer2 aku leh jadi giler.. but he said well sort of a promise wont push me soo hard till i go crazy.. well tgk lar mcm maner... hopefully dier tak jadi mcm naz yg aku kenal dulu...
we are okay for now... haiz.. aku semakin takut nak kahwin ngan dier everytime aku tink of his attitude and mine.. can love overcome all odds???? hopefully.... better be...
thats for all now...

off

2007-12-24T00:43:00.000+08:00

naz n me are still not in gd terms eventho earlier of the day, he came along to meet my family for some celebration of my mum's birthday..

as much as he dont want to come... i dont want him to come too...

but its my mum request...

so after the heavy lunch at pizza hut tampines mall...
i straight go work and he went toilet...
i msged him while he was in the toilet..

he can go back by all means...

and of coz he did...

on the last saturday...
i met sky and his frens.. as usual went to have dinner at changi... nasi lomak ler...
hehe...

its was pouring.... so have to slacked under the void deck....

but then again... we still ride when it was raining...

went to his void deck at first...

he need to get some stuff...

so bobal punyer bobal....

he send me back home....

some pix...

bsk off...

meeting sky again...

dn knw go where..

i wanna feel content..
dont wish to tink of naz.... jz wanna ferget tings...
he is busy with work n easily ferget of me..

so y shld i tink of him n get hurt in the end??
might as well go out n relax my mind......

tekak nk mkn durian....

tommorow can???

this is it

2007-12-19T18:23:00.000+08:00

this is it....
giving up again...
i told him off...
its really getting on my nerves...
i just cant take it anymore..
im moving on....

so dat day his parents came to my house to make the date arrangements...

well...

i believe im not for him...

seems that only me have to understand him..

but he has the slightest understanding of my feelings..

whatever it is...

i dont want to think abt him anymore...

im giving up...

2007-12-14T21:28:00.000+08:00

i got nothing much to update really.. a friend of mine is getting married tommorow...
will be going there..

had a stiff conversation with naz yesterday..

kinda pissed off how he got my attention...

ckp aku attention seeker padehal dier sendirik attention seeker jgk...

hampeh!!!

oh psst...

i got a new phone..

tk mu jeles...

its w880i!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

muahaha...

its slim... its sleek and its a walkman phone.....

hehehe...

2007-12-04T09:07:00.000+08:00

he msged me this morning...

HAPPY 27th MONTHS VERSARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wth hell...
i fergot all about it...

2years and 3months.....

goodness.. time flies...

2007-12-04T08:24:00.000+08:00

yesterday i relief at Lucky Plaza...
wel nothing much there.. just do whatever i can do.. the peeps are fun..
some cocks up here and there but i manage to over come overthing..
well relief in-charge uh.. lina is taking MC unpaid leave again...
aku cover dier nyer pantat again and again lagi dier nak carik pasal ngan aku...
org yg tk kenang jasa budi org jadi gini la...
hhhaaaiizzzzz........
but anyway few things that i want to blog in here regarding yesterday..
yesterday naz fetched me..
at first i dont want to see him...
but he kinda coax me.....
so i gave in and met him.....
i gave him silent treatment all~~~~~~~~~~~~~ the way...
well.. basicly i just remain quiet...
he tried to coax me again and again...
he bought me ice cream and everything...
melted ice cream to be precise...
haha..
upon reaching the block near my house.. we sat..
kinda cute when i see him trying his very best to make me smile...
he is a real big monkey uh!!!!!!
so he kinda talk things out uh....
n everything goes back to normal pelik uh si dekni....
yg penting aku syg dier.,...

ok nari aku nk beli hp aru.. till den... bye...

2007-12-03T08:18:00.000+08:00

I'm leaving this relationship....
i don't know what to call it...
break up i think...
i wanna go far away from you for awhile..
i know you will be reading this...
so there... you got it all...
you are on your own...
so what about our engagement?
if you wanna call it off, then its about time....
i don't want to coax myself and tell myself that everything will be alright...
I'm too tired alright..
seems that he just don't even give a single Fuck about my feelings..

anyway
you have a Gd rest since u r sick...

no point working hard and earn money if its just matter of time that everything will be gone...

its just matter of time that i really pull myself together and leave everything...
even if i will get critics from my family...
i don't care...
my family is one of the reason why i stayed with him...

so now i wanna concentrate on my career and driving license...
i have few thousands in my bank.. that's merely my savings... every month i wanna save $100 only instead of $300.. i wanna use the money for my driving license
i also wanna start seeing other guys... i just wanna know all different type of guys out there...

so till then...

spend money like water

2007-11-30T21:51:00.000+08:00

i SPEND MONEY LIKE WATER!!!

LET SEE WHAT i actually did to my money...

Lunch @ Vivo Banquet = $10.00
top up petrol = $9.00
Cardigan @ Cotton Up(Wisma) = $19.95
2 Tops n 1 bag @ Esprit(Wisma) = $87.70
Little Miss Stuborn top @ Cineleisure = $14.00
2 Topman's Top for huney & my lil bro =$29.00
Zinc Bag @ Far East = $39.00
Silkygirl Mascara = $9.90
Dinner @ Zam zam house @ Bugis =$19.40
2 Converse pencil case for naim&naqib = $24.80
Pair of shoe @ World of Sports (BHG) = $27.20
Some stuff @ Watson Bugis = $5.50

Lets round off things up... spend like $300!!!!!!!

fly money fly...
eventho i got some other things that i wanna buy..
but i think its enough for this month..
oh no worries my daily expenses is already put aside...
so my daily expenses is not being disturbed due to my shopping spree...

oh another news... tommorow i will be at Tampines Mens Levis..
Transfered there...
Probational senior... WTH!!
ouh well... got nothing much to say..
when i got the time i shall update more yah...
oh update with pixs....

2007-11-27T11:19:00.000+08:00

this is 70th entry and i've used my blog since april 2007...
let see.. average usage...
posted around 10post/month...
subsequently 1 entry everydays.. haha... whatever...
ok la i got nothing to update..
its just that..

i wanna go for a holiday with him...
he is busy busy busy with work..
mcm no life...
imagine this...
im stuck with him for already 2yrs pls and belom pernah sekali aku jejak kaki kat clubbing ngan dier...
no life siak... siannnzzzzzzzzz.....
all we do..
movie... shopping.. pool... pang...
itu jer la...
boring kkkaaannnnzzzzz....
ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
argh aku nk gi zoukout this friday.. gi mampos uh... duit da masuk aper...
hah..
so decided not to buy hp or psp...
aku nak enjoy the money to the max... ape nak jadi..
JADIK LA!!!!
dier pergi ker tak ker...
aku tetap pegi..
tapi gi ngan sape ehk..
aku da lamer tk gi jumpe haslina and the others...
or maybe sky...
huahuahuahua
perang lagik la....
abes yg dier tu sibuk ajer...
kerje kerje kerje...
whatever la...

oh an update about work...
so MAMA ESTHER IS IN THE HOUSE!!!!
oh btw...
si LINA mcm nak carik pasal ngan aku...
so what if people knws u r under depression!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WTF!!!!!!!
EVERYONE WILL GO THROUGH DEPRESSION IN THEIR LIFE LA SIIIAAAKKKKK!!!!!!!
NAK BOBAL STRAIGHT... BOBAL STRAIGHT TO MY FUCKING FACE.. DONT DISTURB ME AT WORK,CB!!!
OH BTW...
ON THE OTHER DAY... AKU BER"GADUH" DGN THIS BUDAK yp...
ALAH MCM SI IVA NYER KES...
DEPAN MAK BAPAK PULAK TU..
MAK N NENEK PAKAI TUDUNG...
WTF!!!!!!!!
CUCU N ANAK MCM PEREMPUAN GILER TERPEKIK...
DA KENE SEBIJIK BARU DIER TAHU....
NK BUAT KECOH DEPAN KEDAI AKU KAPER...
KAN DA KENE...
YESH UH..
EVENTHO AKU NAMPAK TAK DER PAPER..
TOLONG LA... JGN AKU TUNJUK MINAHISM AKU...
AKU DA TERLALU TUE FOR IT...

OK la... lets end this entry with some pixs...

happily sit on the table at work...
baby mannequin... cute right... aarrgghhh

nak gi maner ehk ni... oh ader la...
sssshhhhhhh........

2007-11-26T22:35:00.000+08:00

stuupiiiidd happen on the other day when my dear fiancee naz fetched me....

ITU LA ORG YG SUKE BURUK SANGKE, BURUK PADAHNYER...
KAN DA JATUH BILE CORNER... NASEB BAIK KAT CARPARK...
HILANG HENSEM IF I NAMPAK...
KWANG KWANG KWANG..
but still kecian syg i..
whatever uh...
sebenarnyer aku da malas betul nak layan si dekni...

so gaji nak dekat... wwwoohhoo.... cant wait hor..
but so many things to pay.. wth!!
alah independent per...

eh just a wild imaginasi... WAT IF!!! aku bernikah dgn sky...
mesti kecoh...
alah my fiancee tu... ape dier kisah...
dier sumer everything goes...
nanti balik2 dier ckp...
da tak der jodoh... abes mcm mane... u ader jodoh dgn dier... i leh buat aper..

standard dier maner ader perasaannyer org...
heH!!!

well thats for all yo...

fucking fiancee

2007-11-22T08:06:00.000+08:00

what kind a fiancee is he?? wtf uh... read my blog and then assume my work is just a minor problem..
fark u uh!!!
kau ingat aku ader time kaper nak update what actually happen..
kau nyer kerje aper ader..
No BENEFICIAL INTERMS ON EXPERIENCE!!
KEMAHIRAN APER??? KEMAHIRAN HOW TO BE A GD SECURITY??!!!
WTF!!!
dont u ever compare my fucking work load and urs...

IM QUITTING MY FUCKING JOB!!!
WONT BE WORKING FOR A VERY LOOOOONG TIME!!!
MY FARKING FIANCEE IS NOT HELPING ME TO BOOST MY SPIRIT TO FACE EVERYDAY PROBLEMS AT WORK WHICH IM NOT SUPPOSE TO FACE!!
I THOUGHT HE WILL BE THE ONE TO BE MY SHOULDER TO CRY ON..
SOMEONE WHO CAN ALWAYS SHARE MY PROBLEMS...
SOMEONE WHO CAN ALWAYS BE A GD LISTENER TO WHATEVER I WANNA I SAY..
SOMEONE WHO CAN NEVER SICK AND TIRED WITH MY RANTINGS...

Sometimes i asked myself...
why must I be so tied to him???
he is just my fiancee...
if he cant be the one that i need him to be..
THEN why must i be with him??
i can love him all my life but its nt necessary for me to be with him if he cant even have the slightest understanding of me AND WHATS GOING ON IN MY LIFE...

haiz...
maybe i should break the ties...
maybe i should just be away from him for awhile..

When i cried,he was not there to hear my cries at that moment of time..
(its okay and i understand WHY HE CANT BE THERE WHEN I CRIED.. SIMPLY Bcoz he was working at that time... but then.. he don't even bother to ask what actually happen on that day when he knew i cried.. he simply ignored me... if u were me,how the fuck u wld feel? resentment of course!!)
When i ramble about my work, he scoldED and shouted at me for being nagger about my work!!!
(eh farker, i don't need your farking comments or advice, just be a listener for my pain,joy, cries, laughter and happiness!!)

Eh u going to live all ur life with me... but THEN if u cannot be a gd companion,WHY MUST U WANNA HAVE COMPANION IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU CANT EVEN TAKE A GD CARE OF HER HEART!! I've been the most patience towards u and my tolerance is fucking high... so pls don't TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED!!!!

So what if you buy me things... THOSE THINGS IS A TEMPORARY HAPPINESS!!!
GET THAT IN YOUR FUCKING DICK-HEAD!!!
ATTENTION, LOVE, CARE AND CONCERN IS the MOST JOYeST GIFT IN MY LIFE!!!

I'm going to quit my job...
No job = No money = No Savings = No Marriage

Haiz..
Give me a break...

Im going out today... dont ask me where...
i need to be away..
maybe im going to sit by the beach or what...
of today my off day..

Gd day everyone

My off day

2007-11-19T23:47:00.000+08:00

so it was my offday..
my mum and i went to northpoint to buy my dad a new phone..
we share our money to buy him K800i..
seems that he like it alot..
then at around 430pm,met my darling..
went to PS..
book a movie..
Beowulf..
stupid crap movie shit...
hate it alot...
Tu la huney,tak nak dgr ckp syg u sorang ni...
i wanted to watch Bratz or perhaps The Game Plan..
but dear huney wanted to watch that movie..
so ikutkan ajer...
he bought me stuff to cheer my up...
haha..
thats the most interesting part of the day..
oh anyway here are the pix...

Us.. FOrever Us

sweetie me...
PS: Hate me wont make me you prettier

cheece stick anyone?? BK

2007-11-18T21:54:00.000+08:00

okay i got noting much to update but anyway an update...
short sweet simple update..

so here goes...

im sick and tiredn with work..
my dear as usual not being there for me whenever i want him too..
hate him to the C O R E!!!

went out after work...
need to cool my minds off...

hmm... anyways...
i wld like to keep long hair back..
so Grow hair GROW!!!!

tommorow my off day.. so cherios...

2007-11-13T20:25:00.001+08:00

aarrgghhh!!!
im sick!!!
last 2days, sore throat like hell then down to fever..
yesterday im sick.. fever, cough and running nose..
today cough and running nose..
sick sick...
go away~~
dont come back on any days~~
haiz...

Ethern,my boutique manager just called...
he told me that kak lina will be taking MC till end of the month..
hhhaaiiizz...
im all alone.. no i wont be doing full shift...
ETHERN!!! PLEASE GET PAID SENIOR AND SUPERVISOR TO TRANSFER TO VIVO!!!!
haiz...
feels like crying...

2007-11-07T20:45:00.001+08:00

wwooowee

2007-11-06T10:56:00.000+08:00

so yesterday.. kecoh.. kecoh..
got to knw that i fergot to left the spare shop key at Dockers...
called my dear to help me n to fetch me....
but then kak lina already on her way there..
so my poor dear is all ready to meet me...
but then we still met ...
we went to my bro's house... my mum asked me to send somethings to her...
WE GOT LOST on our way there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im all flamed up but not that bad uh..
still had some fun n laughter here n there..
hunny bunny the joker of the day..
we met at around 11am but reached my bro's house at 12plus plus plus....
haha...
but at the end of the story we learnt our lesson...
now clever already.. haha... wtf!!
so.. at around 1.30pm, we went to tampines mall..
at first we thought that we cld go n play pool...
but the thing was.... the building has already been demolished...
haha.. so went to window shopping...
my dear bought me a Zinc bag.... golden in colour siah...
haha... but its nice.. i loike.... bags!! i am a bag collector la siul..
ok shup up,sue..
lets move on.. after which i planned to go n get my hair do.. AGAIN!!!
well.. every month la...
this time round he paid for it..
upon reaching his KR, we realised that he left his bik KEYS ON HIS FREAK BIKE!!!
haiz...
both of us has a poor memory...
its all about KEYS KEYS KEYS!!!
hurhur..
went to his house for awhile.. he need to get change..
left the house at around 4plus...
after sending me to saloon, he went to work.
my hair now very the nice... copper colour la..
im am soo darn happy...
ouh well.. i got to go now..
shll upload pics... but seriously no time...

PS: im asking for a transfer.... i dont want to do senior job!!!!

hehe

2007-11-01T09:04:00.000+08:00

so yesterday it was my dear fiance 25th birthday..
did something thats alil bit unthinkable..
i dont know what was on my mind...
i was still very angry with him.. BUT its his birthday..
and i really wanted to be there for his birthday..

well this is what i did...
12plus... i called his house... asked his mom if he's already home..
i told her that i wanna suprised him by coming to his house...
but then his mother said he has not home yet...
*Sad
called hiM once but he did not answered...
msged him and still he did not replied...
*Uber Sad...
called him the second time... and HE PICKED UP THE PHONE!!
talked to me forawhile
* yeay he's home!!!
after i hung up the phone...
i called his house... told his mother that i will be coming inawhile...
*wwweeeee~~~~
So told my mom about it... and so i made my way there...
went to northpoint to buy his present..
well i bought his Adidas Parfume and body deo...
i got it wrapped and off i went on my way there...
called Canadian pizza and so placed my order...
I reached his house at around 4pm..
sat around for awhile...
and so i decided to wake him up...
he was soundly asleep.... hehe...
so sneaked to his room with his brother...
aauuuw.. slept like a baby...
i played with his ears to irritate him to wake him up..
he got really agitated...
from his reactions,i was very sure he gonna be flamed up..
but...
when as soon he opened his eyes... he got a shocked coz a
Pweeety lady standing beside his bed...
and he went,..... "EH!!! SAPE NI!!!!"
he wore his spects and he saw its a pweety lady from yishun..
it was ME LAR!!!!! *the one and only u always hurt
and there he was blushing away...
took some pillow to cover his face..
and so i went...
"Happy birthday,dear. da la bangun la.. i got a surprise from u."
he was smiling all the way....
not long after that pizza came...
so he went bathing coz i wanted to buy his a birthday cake...
his brother tagged along to buy cake...
bought a cake at prima deli...
just a small cake that cost $25..
it was nice...
coco powder on-top... marshmallow inside the cake and with all those yummy cream..
upon reaching time,its eating time...
while i was eating.. i spoon fed everyone.... including his grandmother...
too bad zurah, bro angah and his dad was not at home to join in the fun..
well the cake was nice... so does the pizza!!!!
really had fun there...

at around 6pm,went out...
went to my grandad at amk..
he have not fully recovered from his leg...
poor dad.. then went home... sit around and stuff...
at around 8plus,he went home...

so my dear fiance... i am very sure u r all touched and blushed what i did...
NOONE CAN EVER TREAT U BETTER!!!!!
UUURRGGHHHH!!!!
HATE THAT I LOVE YOU!!!!
ouh well...
i shall upload all those pics when i got the chance..
We took pics using my dear fiance's parents' camera..
so till then...

GOODBYE!!!!
one more thing...
DEAR YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO ACT MATURELY AND UNDERSTAND YOUR SURROUNDING's FEELINGS!!!! ESP. ME!!!!!!! YOUR ONE AND ONLY WHO CAN TOLERATE YOUR FREAKING NONSENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy 25th birthday

2007-10-31T10:04:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 25TH BIRTYHDAY TO MY DEAR FIANCE!!
I LOVE YOU!!!

oh by the way we are still not in a gd terms...
im just waiting for him to coax(pujuk) me which i think not in a million years..
ouh well.. maybe he is fine with this kinda situation...
basicly he is fine with everything...
i am very sure he is even fine if we broke off...
No matter what happen to us...
i wont regret loving him..
its a piece that he should treasure it.. (Did he?)
in 4days time..
2years 2months...
haiz... will this relationship will be gone in the wind??

Its a mental and emotion torture...

short simple but not soo sweet

2007-10-29T11:25:00.000+08:00

ok here goes...

didnt contact him almost 4days...
sick and tired of him...
really pissed me off..

oh btw... one more thing...
i smoke when i like..
i smoke when i stressed...
i smoke when im bored...

dont make a very big fuss about it...
i dont care what you guys thinks of me...
i just dont give a damn....

dont try to stop what im doing when i think it dont affect your MONEY!!!
aku enjoy pakai duit kau kape!!!!
aku susah ker...
senang ker...
aku ader mintak duit korang every month??
aku tak macam tunang aku...
every month mengharapkan duit aku...
nanti biler gaji bayar balik...
its a routine...
iF TAK DER DUIT..... TAK JUMPE AKU..
WTF!!! AKU SICK AND TIRED UH!!
AKU TAK PASAL AKU TAK DPT MASUK DLM FAMILY KAU JUST BECAUSE AKU SMOKE...
PATHETIC PUNYER REASON UH!!
AKU TAU UH BILE AKU NAK RILEK..
AKU ADER OTAK... SENDIRIK AKU PIKIR!!!!
TUNANG AKU SENDIRI HISAP ROKOK!!! NAK SUROH DIER TO SUROH AKU QUIT...
FAMILY AKU DA TK CKP BYK!! KORANG NAK CKP BYK PER HAL!!!
WALAUPUN AKU HISAP ROKOK... TAK PERNAH AKU HISAP DEPAN FAMILY KORANG AND MY FAMILY...
IF AKU NAK HISAP ROKOK, AKU KELUAR...
PADE AKU ITS DISRESPECT TO SMOKE INFRONT OF ELDERS...
EVEN TUNANG AKU, AKU TAK KASI DIER HISAP DEPAN FAMILY AKU...
EVENTHO MY UNCLES SMOKE IN THE HOUSE OR WHAT...
AKU TAK AKAN KASI DIER HISAP ROKOK TOGETHER WITH MY UNCLES OR WHAT..

AND LAGI SATU...
DIER MENJADI CONTOH UH!!!
KELAKAR KAPE... PEROKOK MENYURUH ANOTHER PEROKOK TO QUIT!!

TAK MU BUAT LAWAK BODOH UH!!!

AND AS FOR YOU MY DEAR TUNANG...
JGN HARAP AKU NAK CONTACT KAU...
KEPALE HOTAK BETUI!!!
AKU NAK MALAS NAK LAYAN KAU NYER PERANGAI!!!!!
MANE JANJI2 KAU SUME???
MENGARUT PEY ORG!!!
TUNANG NI MCM PUN ADER DLM DUNIA!!!

IM BACK

2007-10-18T21:18:00.000+08:00

So its hari raya.. i think its not too late to wish everyone
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MMMUUUAAACCCKKKSSS!!!

so nothing much.. summarize..

First day of Hari Raya...
My Elder bro came to our house..
Then head to my grandparents home...
Went to AMK first then bendemeer...
nothing much to update...
then went home...

2nd day of Hari Raya..
Hunney Bunney tag along...
he came at aROUND 11am...
went out of the house at 12noon..
first we went to my aunty house which located near Singapore Sports School..
Then went to my cousin house..
i was flamed up on the way there.. simply because i thought we lost our way there
but the fact is we're not.. Sorry Baby... I love you...
then we visit few houses then last but not least went to his house...

ouh well... nothing much to update tho..
ouh btw... Yesterday cukup da 7bulan aku bertunang dgn dier...
time flies...
tapi yg penting....
huney, can u pls be more sweetie pie...
uurrgghhh!!! sometimes i hate u all my might...
but......
i just love u...
complicated eh
???

whatever la... tommorow early in the morning,i will be seeing him.... hehe...
oh oh btw... yesterday we met..
we went to have lunch at sakura...
then i bought myself some lingerie at E2...
then surveying some hps...
whatelse??
huney bought me Kinder Bueno and ear studs,... thankie u...
ouh i bought a belt at Esprit..
bought some other things at guardian la...
slacked under block and he went over to my house..
my mum packed some food for him...
utk bakal anak mertua kape,mak...
hahaha...
ouh well... that for all yo!!!

SAD SAD SAD

2007-10-08T09:11:00.000+08:00

Im just not important...

wont be blogging for a moment...

im so tired with this...

im keeping myself in the dark...

dont wish to crawl back..

enough is enough....

well before i go...

pls pray for me what i desire for come true...

they're promoting me i heard...

but train me to be a Senior...

can i handle it??

hopefully...

hhmmm..... so today OFF OFF OFF!!!

the thought of me baking some stuff for hari raya really excite me..

however OVER BROKE DOWN!!!

urgh sad...

im going out later...

meeting lydia and others...

will i be seeing aidil??

ouh that bitch who wish to mess with me...

lagi sikit muke kau kene swing...

tak kuase aku nak terhege2 kat aidil...

we are FRIENDS!!!!!

so whatever bitch!!

its been quite sometime i didnt go Seletar dam..
suddenly thought of abg Sha..
yah... still in contact with him...
ok lor... im moving off.... bubye all...
TILL NEXT TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-10-05T11:28:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 25TH MONTH ANIVERSARY!!!
CANT BELIEVE WE WENT SOOOOOOOO FAR....
2 YEARS AND 1MONTH!!!

OUH HUNNIE BUNNY!!
I LOVE YOU SO...

WENT THROUGH ALOT LA BEB.!!!

ATTACHED BF/GF...
CAME THIS GUY BY THE NAME OF AMIN!!
THEN... THIS FUCKER LADY... THAT STUPID BITCH GAJAH!!
THEN ME HOSPITALIZED!!
.... RECOVERED.. PATCHED...
CAME ALONG THIS GUY... SKY.....
GOT ENGAGED...
STILL SKY IN THE PICTURE...
SKY AGAIN....
SKY...
STILL SKY...
NOW... NOMORE SKY... I THINK...

FAMILY BEING UNDERSTANDING ABOUT US...
HIS FAMILY SAME.. I THINK..
SOMETIMES I THINK HIS FAMILY DONT REALLY FAVOUR ME..

WELL... IM JUST A TYPICAL MINAH...
WELL SOMETIMES..
I SMOKE...
DRINK...
CLUB...
A FLIRT SOMETIMES... BUT NOTING MORE....

WHEN WILL I HAVE A SIMPLE LIFE...

LIKE the daughter in his family..
simple life...
got a bf... family.. sch...
went back home then sneaked out...

haiz... mcm thrill gitu..
i once like that... sneaked out... and still am...
sometimes only... sometimes i dont feel like telling my parents my whereabouts...
simply ignored....

whatever...

but still.... im happy with what i have..

great pay job....
irritating bf as eva...
he is one TAK SWEET LANGSUNG FIANCE!!!!
but still love him and cant bear to lose him...
i got a family.. soon to have my own...

well would like to confess somethings in here...
am i ready to get married???
am i ready to face his face everyday??
am i ready to swallow all his shits???
i dont knw if i can stand it..
is he for me???
is he meant for me/???
can he actually value me after marriage??
can i be a gd wife to him???
haiz....

but most important thing... we love each other....

can love overcome everything????

aiz

2007-10-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

so... off day as it is... wen to highlight my hair... at first i went in the afternoon... damn pack siol.. so be it.. went to highlight in the late afternoon... its done... i think its nice.. not too sure... ouh well.. got to go now...

To Fyza

2007-09-28T11:26:00.000+08:00

Condolence to Nurhafyzah Mawasi and the family.
ITs his time.

anyway so its been 2days i worked full shift.. on wednesday...
i was all alone in the shop. ive only part-timers around me..
no other full timers..
No irvin..
No James..
No Fyza..
Irvin and james was on off..
as for Fyza, she took Compassionate Leave..
Her grandpa passed away..

so i opened the shop uh... no relief senior or sup..
hmm... well i survived... from 9.30am till 7pm... thank god Jason Er , a CSA as me but he helped me to do closing.. how sweets...

so today is not my off day... tommorow... i got 2 weekend OFF!! AINT THAT GREAT!!!!

WWWOOOHHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i loike!!!!!

simply because james need to attend some company's farewell dinner..
onle of he retail executive is leaving the company..
perhaps doing closing tonight...

see how...

well thats for all...

hello...

2007-09-24T13:31:00.001+08:00

so i dyed my hair... yeah.. i knw... i dyed BLACK!!! SOLID BLACK!! OUH I AM SOOOOOO ASEAN!!!! wteva shits uh... actually i've my own reason why i dyd it black.. because i wanna highlight my hair... perhaps blond stripes?? haha... god knows what im gonna do next to my hair.. oh oh btw.. im uber bored right now... hmm... boredom kills... today my off day im gonna spend my whole day at home... so everybody pls... WWOOOOAAAHHH!!!!!!! this is hard to come by u know... hahaha... ouh well.. staying at home is really not me... but who cares.. im staying home today...

thats for all now... got to go... ouh to lala land la...

Holaa holla

2007-09-17T12:03:00.001+08:00

so ramadhan is here... would like to wish all muslims out there a Selamat Berpuase!!! today is the 5th day of ramadhan... and i only managed to fast 3days only... well at least im trying to fast eventho i knw my fasting wont be accepted by Allah as i drink the other day... but atleast i did fast.. there are non-muslims' eyes around me looking at me... ouh well.. so today my off day.. as usual only my off days i update this blog of mine... i will be breaking my fast with my dear hunnie bunny baby bee, fiancee... hehehe.., to where.. im still thinking.. this ime round i've to plan.. and still i dont know where to go..

so work is pretty fine for me.. oh oh.. one more thing.. reshufflement list was out... however my name is not listed.. so sad.. i thought that i can be out from Vivo.. but sadly.... im not... haiz.. so have to wait for next yea i guess than there will be another reshufflement list... lets pray hard yo... hehe... well i got nothing more to update in here..

oh before i fergot...
TODAY IS THE 6TH MONTH of OUR ENGAGEMENT!!!
time do flies...
2008 coming soon... its gonna be the year for US... Insya-Allah.. amin..

thats for all.. toodles....

Velvet dragon

2007-09-12T20:10:00.000+08:00

so yesterday went to Velvet dragon.. i really enjoyed myself there.. nothing much actually to update... Dinner and dance ended at round 10plus... so clubbing and chilling after that.. told huney to fetch me at arond 12am... in the end, he lost his way... he is unsure to get there.. so in the end after 30mins of searching each other, we finally found each other... its like playing hide and seeks... haha... its funny tho... i was a lil bit tipsy yesterday... please dont ask why... the 2inch heels was killing me... so i bare footed... yes i did!!! i stand it... so reached home at around 1.30am.. it was raining by that time... poor my dear hunnie bunny baby bee....

im all glad that today is my off day...

well i didnt took alot of pix... so just a pic to share... enjoy...

gd night,everyone

Velvet Dragon Here I Come

2007-09-11T01:01:00.000+08:00

DINNER AND DANCE LAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOTTTZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VELVET DRAGON HERE I COME~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!

baby.. fetched me home after work... i'll be good..
no hard drinks for me... okay....

zoooo

2007-09-07T19:47:00.000+08:00

so we met at around 11am.. thought of highlighting my hair.. but then.... malas uh.... so bought my contacts and hunney bought one too... i bought misty grey, hazel brown and sky blue.. so should i wear sky blue for dinner and dance?? hehe.. lets just wait and see...
so then we went to the zoo... we reached there at round 12plus... we really had fun there.. eventho we were darn tired.. but its really paid off... i love him!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehe... looking at those monkeys, hippos and other cute cute animals really made my day... we took alot of pix... yeahs!!! hehe... but then cant upload in here... will compile them in an album.. the next time we visit zoo will be with our children.. hehe.....
after the zoo outing, our body smells like kambing... we went to have a shower first then off we went to northpoint to eat swensen... yummy!! i like the ice-cream.... power to the max....

reached home at around 9plus.. im all exhausted... when dear reached home,we talked on the phone for awhile... then oofff to lalalalala land~~~...

as for today i went out with mummy, lil bro, cik nora and her 3 adorable cousins... my little darlings la... da lamer tak berjumpe... in the end i chose i real VOGUE top at RED2.. hurhur step vogue jek... actually i already saw that top at vivo city same shop Red2... it really caught my eye... so i am very sure that wont regret buying it.. i shall be wearing the skinny jeans, the top and high heels.. ouh i bought 2inch heels at mondo...
so lets see how much i already spent for my dinner and dance..
skinny jeans at far east = $39.90
top at 2red = $39.00
High heels at Mondo = $19.90
TOTAL = $98.80

hmm.... another thing that i wanna buy... some accessories... necklace, some bangles, rngs and earrings.. ouh i had lots of the earring...sa can ferget it lor... maybe just buying the accessories like necklace, bangles and rings... maybe i will drop by the Accessorize or maybe Aldo Accessorise... or some other shop la... oh oh... one more thingy... i need to highlight my hair tommorow... banyak betul event aku la... burnt semuer aku nyer anual leave... on sunday will be acompanying my dear to his friend's wedding then off the accompany him to play soccer with abg man...

so thats for all la... gd night everyone... till next time...

yesterday yesterday

2007-09-06T08:21:00.000+08:00

so yesterday my dear fetched me from work.. then off we went to have our dinner at cineleisure.. we had Burger King.. at that point of time i was having a very bad headache.. but afterawhile the headache fades away.. so off we went to far east to survey my stuff for my Dinner and Dance.. thought of wearing cheong sam.. there was this cheong sam that caught my eye.. Cost i think $150... but i wanted someting that's Cap sleeve.. and unfortunately tak ADER!!!! bingit.. so we walked around.. we came to this shop by the name of Camelia.. i bought the merchandise but then something unfriendly happen between me, the merchandise, sales girl and the manager... what i can say is... THE CUSTOMER SERVICE THERE SUCKS TO ITS CORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dear was furious with what happened.. he even re-explained to the manager but nothing came sense into him... wtf uh!!!! uurrgghhh!!! bingit!!! Tak leh accept this kinda situation jgn bukak kedai dont provide any customer service.. go n sell newspaper or something..

After da okay, we went for a smoke... it was 10pm already.. haiz... all i bought was a pair of black skinny jeans and few accessories... the shopping mood just fade away after encountered this kinda customer service.. so we went to the carpark near cineleisure.. the place where dear parked his bike.. before we headed home, he went to the Gents and as for me window shopping.. to cheer myself up i bought this tee that says,"Diets Starts Tommorow." pretty cute!! i loike!!
right after that, we went back home... reached my block at around 11pm, huney opened up the present that i bought for him... happy seh dier... i bought him Levi's Signature long sleeve shirt and a card.. touching... hehe..

so lets end everything with pictures!!!
im unable to take a pic of the top that i bought for huney.. but its okay..
hmm if i were to re-cap what i bought yesterday.. i spend quite a bomb!!
so lets see...

total i think i spend like almost $120..

oh i got to go now... need to hightlight my hair lil bit... then meeting dear again... will be going to the ZZOOOOO!!!!! owoooowowowowowowow!!!! till den.. bubye...

yeayness

2007-09-05T00:27:00.000+08:00

First of all...

HAPPY 2YEARS ANIVERSARY TO US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

life is fine...

holding on to us...

sometimes i feel that we cant make it..

im trying my very best to make it happen...

i believe in myself...

i love him dearly....

will be going to the zoo this thursday..

so YEAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shld i buy him a present?

oh btw we made an agreement..

lets state everything in here..

1) Twice outing in a month.
first outing set by Naz and the second outing set by me. These outings does not include fetching tru or fro from work or anywhere else. Does not include meeting for lunch/dinner. It also not including accompanying him to play soccer. OUTING MEANS U R MINE 100% with no other OUTSIDE disturbance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2) ATLEAST 6 TIMEs Of MEETING!!
These meetings does not include OUTINg EVEN.
Fetching tru n fro from work includes. So does meeting for lunch/dinner. Accompany him to play soccer do include.

3)End of the month automaticly without fail,i will transfer $50 or more in his bank without any of him asking for it. Nothing less than $50.

6) As for him, AUTOMATICLY he MUST transfer back to my account without fail... should be the same amount or more... NOTHING LESS!!!

well thats about it..

i am broke!!!

2007-08-30T12:43:00.000+08:00

im broke.. im broke... im broke.... uurrgghhh!!! cepat la besok... hopefully i can see $1.3K in my account.... please please...

so lets start talking about work... so work... as u all knw... there's lots and lots of paper work to be done... but i am glad i am all prepared.. today eric will be coming dow to our work place but the thing is im off today... hopefully my teammates knws wat to say and all... hmm...

anyway yesterday night had a stiff conversation with deary naz... simply why?? because he was jealous that i am actually so close with sky n not him.. and he is very much unhappy that i am actually engaging some activities with sky.. not bad activities... just fishing with his friends... he once asked me why i dont like nazs' interest but im willing to try fishing?? but hello..what do u expect?? me playing soccer?? gsh that gonna be ugly.. i dont really favour soccer but hell.. i was there seeing u play soccer... i am sorry that i cannot be there for u 24/7 when u are with abg mans' soccer match.. u knw that my schedule at work is damn tight!! haiz... but i did wanna go... whatever it is.... he did apologise for being such jealous fiance.. sape yg tk syg tunang oooiii.. aku pun sayang... hehe... ok la... next mth... will be celebrating our 2nd year aniversary of being together cum 6th mth of engagement.. we will be celebrating at ZZOOOOOO!!!! yes ZZZOOOOO!!! been wanting to go to the zzoooooooooooooo fooor a vvveerrrryyyy lllooooonnnnngggg tttiiiiimmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
WWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh oh.. another thing.. i will be having Dinner and Dance vvveeryyyy ssoooonn.. im all excited for next month event....

we back together

2007-08-24T14:46:00.001+08:00

naz n me are back together.. seems that we cant let go of each other.. we tried but we took back our words... is this love,baby?? one thing for sure... i love u,dear...

then today is my off day.. and i went to work early in the morning... had this project coming up.. i was selected to be the head category of ladies...
hopefully i can carry out my duties smoothly... so everyday i need to report my merchandise update... whats my UPT, ATV, sales performance and etc etc...
so many things to do...
stress.. so i guess i need to buy a small notebook... its for my reference,lor... so when to Retail Executive were to ask me at least i have my handybook to go along... InsyaAllah that i can do a better job... ouh there's new girl onboard... she's a full time attachement.. she is one of my teammates.. need to train her once more... so thats about it...

as for my atuk... he already discharged from hospital.. thank god its nothing serious... but my grandpa's foot still in a not soo good condition.. i pray for his better health...

2007-08-21T10:53:00.000+08:00

for Muhd Nazri Bin Mohd Noor

Indah terasa bila cinta tercipta
Memadu kasih janji bersama
Bersama-sama melafaz kata cinta
Gurau senda dan tawa berdua

Tapi kini semuanya kenangan
Kau pergi tanpa pesan

Mana janjimu yang kau lafazkan dulu
Hidup dan matimu bersamaku
Rela kau pegi walau hati disakiti
Biarkanlah aku sendiri

Airmata menjadi penawar
Akanku simpan semua jadi kenangan oh... oh... oh...

Pergilah kasih, pergilah sayang
Tinggalkan aku (pergilah sayang)
Biarkan saja kenangan berlalu
Antara kau dan aku
Pergilah sayang

No matter what i love u deeply...
im sorry

one more video to show.. if he eva feels this way.. please tell me.... sigh...
i know he wont...

im sad

2007-08-21T00:14:00.001+08:00

well nt a gd day to start with... i was dragging my feet to work... i was still exhausted of energy due to helping my bro's place.. u know yesterday after crybercafe-ing... i went back to my bro's place... sat down and start talkng to my aunts... and to suprise... naz's family came down... i was like.. wooaahh.. their motive?? im not too sure... but i told his mum everything uh... i just need to pour everything... but i know me and him will not work things out... as he.. will be in forever not satisfying, angry and egoistic behaviour.. as for me... i will be sad and disapointments... oh btw.. i even told my bro about me n him already.. and he said he wanted to talk to naz... but the question is... will naz meet him... i dont think so urh... knowing his character he wont accept anyone's advices... in his eyes.. what he did was a right thng... ouh whatever.. i just need to look ahead...
ouh well back to my main purpose of blogging... okay... in the morning.. i messaged him telling him that i will be giving back his ring and money by the end of the month.. i dont know if he gets the messaged at all because there's no reply...
then later in the afternoon,i called my mum... i heard my granddad hospitalized.. my mum told me that he was already warded... haiz... tommorow i will be be visiting him... i hope he will get better soon...
so already 2 sad thing happens..
another thing was ANGELINE.. the big FREAK in Levi's management... she faxed to Vivo Levi's.. its a memo... there will be short meeting this friday.. and it conducted by her first thing in the morning... confrim we'll get "butter" by her...
reason being 2 complain in 2 weeks..
our place down by 20K
urgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thats 3 altogether...
first - Declared Broke Off with Naz
Second - My granddad hospitalized
third - "Buttering" meeting with angeline...
AARRGGGHHHHHHH!!!! stressfull~~~~!!!

most inportantly i hope i will just relax about Naz issue thingy...
Yes i do love him... dearly in fact... deeply madly... hhmm... but he's not tat sensitive in this issue..
well its okay uh... as long he is alright...

so sky...
ooppss.. i knw he will be dead angry with me as i contacted sky.. to tell the truth only sky knows my condition from the start i got back to naz... till now.. he knows everything... he was the one i confided... yes indeed he put hopes on me but...entah la... cannot la.. i dont think i can accept sky soo soon... yah naz ignored me.. but its okay... just one day wen i already got over everything and starting to accept new people in life... then perhaps i will accept sky..

well i got nothing more to update in here... gd nite everyone.... bubye...

end

2007-08-19T14:49:00.000+08:00

by the time everyone got this entry... i would like to confess everything in here..
i da tak sanggup nk go on like this...
im letting everyone go... building a new life...
hopefully he will be happy without me..
having me in his life miserable with everything..
im lettingu go n will never turn back...
stay angry with me forever...
hate me all u want...
i dont care anymore...
im at cybercafe with sky... i cried and cried and cried... i really cant help it this time...
i need someone to talk to... i pour everything to him..

im really happy for him... he now is living happily.. he nw stablized himself...
i wish him to get a new gf... no im not going for him... yes he is nice.. but cukup la dgn aper yg i ader... i just need to settle everything nicely... i guess i will talk to my parents abt naz and me... i hope they agreed to call it off... my dad saw me crying hardly just now... so does my brother... but they didnt asked me what happened but im sure after the ceremomy,they gonna ask me.. Didalam hati naz... tak der sesaper yg bertakhta... if he loves me... he will take care of my heart... he wouldnt shout at me... he thinks by using violence things gonna be alright...

enjoyed my day

2007-08-10T20:15:00.000+08:00

So last off day.. we went out.. just me n him.. yeay!! first of all we went to Plaza Singapura.. to book our ticket.. we watched Rush hour.. but we took 6pm show... so we reached there at ard 1plus.. after we booked to ticket and all we headed down to far east by feet... yeah!! its been quite sometime we walked hand in hand.. hehe... we stumble to this shop.. we bought ourselves a new pait of shades... cool shades i should say... huney paid 2/3 of it... hehe.. thanks huney... then we headed down to far east plaza... we had our lunch there... its a feast man... so huney had hor fu and i had thai fried ride.. on top of everything we ordered pandan leaf chicken and seafood tom yam soup.. it was damn delicious!!! u guys should try it... haha.. so in the mean time while waiting for our food.. we camwhore.. haha... sempat...

my huney bee... hehehe

sue swit... hahaha

and so... the leftover..

the meal cost me $28.60.. pretty cheap... ehehehe...
then after a very heavy meal we went to play pool... as usual.. i won... for free.. huney keep on making mistakes over and over again.... he played so hard... and as for me.. so slacked.. but then still... i won.. hahaha...

after the game its time for us, to go back to plaza singpura... but before that i went to buy some donuts for us... we sneaked the donuts in.. hahaha.... the donuts are yummy yummy yum!!! there was this chocolate donut where the chocolate is not only outside the donut... there's yummilicious cream donut inside... POWER!!! heard of donut factory?? yeah... u guys shld try and buy the donuts there...

before we went in PS, we smoked for awhile... and again... camwhore..

posing our shades!! hehe...

at 6pm, we reached the place.. and we are just in time... hehe... the movie is hilarious la!! RUSH HOUR 3!!! we watched the sneak preview... so its cost alil bit high.. 9.50 for one person... huney paid for it... u knw wen we were watching, huney ut the donuts on the other seat.. we thought that noone will be seating there then there were this minah dgn selambe nk dudok... nasib baik my huney was fast.. if not bye2 donut.. haiz... but on top of everything... i enjoyed my day...

hoolllaa everyone

2007-08-08T10:13:00.000+08:00

girl... u got a serious attitude problem... you are as old.. but ur attitude failed to reflect your age... grow up,girl... think of other feelings before you say people how hurt people did to u... what goes around comes around... karma,girl... karma... remember that... chill.. you got looks but your attitude sucks to the core,girl... you wanna have a gd life??? earn it... dont yearn it... wtf uh... sometimes you are as fragile but u refused to agree to it.. when people did to you, people will shout at u like an animal... this is your flaw.. noone dares to tell u that.... hahaha.... if i dont have friend like u in my life,i dont regret an inch.. you're popular??? you're pretty??? but how many people really stays in your life??? 4??? 3??? 2??? 1??? who are those who really there for you when you're sad??? who are those who are there when you're happy??? many rite??? so what do u have to do??? put a fake smile on your face and pretend everything is alright... you people to overcrowd you so therefore be happy always...
you think pay other guy's expenses shows that you got a pure heart???
pure heart my foot!!!! hahaha.. you are just plain stupid lady with pretty cute face... which everyone adores...
but with attitude like a piece of cannibal who eats humans internally??? well thats whole piece of shit,girl...

anyway... today me going out with naz... hopefully everything goes smoothly....

helloi

2007-08-06T18:15:00.000+08:00

here i am.. having my offday.. guez wat? my dear bought me a new hp... Motorola v3xx.. its has everything and most of all it is a flip phone and i loike.. ouh well.. its kinda 50\50 thingy.. however its more on him because without him.. i wont be getting a nw phone.. thanks huney baby.. hanks,b.. thanks alot... muacks..

some pix to share...

i took this pic using my nw hp.. i loike!!! thankie u... huney... i likke!!! i loike!!! i loike!!!!

he msged me

2007-08-04T21:39:00.000+08:00

Muhd Nazri Mhd Noor Msg me.. very touching and meaning...
OK i forgive u... forgive me too...
loves u syg,,,
happy 23rd aniversary to u...

MUACKS!!!!

can i hug u now...

THIS IS LOVE ,EVERYONE

i just gave up.... i am the big mistake

2007-08-03T07:18:00.000+08:00

i tried to work things out.. i even started talking nicely... i open up the conversation in the nicest way and in my nicest tone... but what did i get... his shoutings... his temper.. his anger...

im giving up...

im giving up on u....
im giving up on me...
im giving up on us...

didnt sleep the whole night... my head is spinning.. im crying.... gosh even typing all these, i cant help myself but to cry.. im falling sick again... my coughing worsen... i just hope i just be in a state of coma... everything standing still....

huney,if you're reading this.. i know u are angry... but all i could say is... i am sorry... but im too weak to go through this.. i just cant bring myself together... my heart, mind and soul... in ur eyes.. im wrong.. i believes in ur parents' eyes.. im wrong too... i mean if im good.. u wouldnt have shouted at me.. right? its okay if your parents didnt hear my side.. i faham... and its fine for me.. i just want u to know that deep inside my heart i loves u... i really do... its just that im not good enough for you... maybe someone out there is way better than me.. i really believes in that... im just not someone who can just forget what u did to me.. the shouting and all... as for u, u can forget what u did to me... but i just cant... its really hurts me deeply... it has a real great impact on me.. well like i mention yesterday night... "i will leave u alone..." this 5 word sentence means everything,dear... u take care of yourself.... i am sorry... im just not good enough for you... i am just as bad... upon reading all this, need not to look for me.. because i dont wish to quarell with you anymore... im too weak and cant bear u shouting at me.. please dear, never i did shouting at u.. im nt an animal that you can keep shouting at me... never i did toys with your feelings, never did i make u feels you are the most lowly creature on earth.. i dont know y on earth in your mind,im always in the wrong.. its okay uh.. i already accepted all these for you... but i am just too weak... like i mention earlier... i da tk berdaye... i dont know how to make things right anymore... i did hambat hati u balik... i believe u didnt see all this... its okay uh... haiz... i dont know whatelse to say.. huney.... syg... please dont be angry anymore okay,dear?? im a nomore in ur life... noone will ever react to ur reactions... noone will ever feels offended with you anymore... noone will ever bug u to meet... noone will ever ask u to accompany for lunch.. noone will ever disturb u anymore... i will leave u alone...

how i wish i could just hug him and cry out loud in his arms... i really wanted to do that... but no... i cant... he is better off without me...

Gosh why am i crying so bad.. let it go,Suriyati Jakaria... Its over.. it just dont work out... Suriyati Jakaria, This thing happen because you are the mistake in his life... remember that and just let it go... just remember one thing... u r not good enough for him... its better for u to leave his life alone.. he is better off without you..

ALANGKAH INDAHNYER SEKIRENYER AKU TIDAK MEMPUNYAI HATI DAN PERASAAN.. haiz... evenif he is the cause,why must i be the reaction??? why must there be a reaction..??? its my fault to react... well like i mention.. nothing i did is right... i am the mistake..

End Of Sky n ME

2007-07-29T10:56:00.001+08:00

i've made a point to sky... we broke our ties... simply because of my dear, Naz...i did all these for him and for us.. i hope he knows how to apreciate us onwards.. im sorry dear sky... i didnt mean to point of out your silliest mistake and broke our ties.. im sorry.. i've to... its for the better for me,us and him... maybe its better this way...

anyway naz and i went out together few days back.. merely slacking and all.. we had fun... missing him right now... ouh well.. i have some pix but then... photobucket encounter some shittoz.. so perhaps later on.. today afternoon shif.. getting ready later on... soo till next time everyone..

ouh ouh.. by the way.. i changed my phone.. i lost my 6288.... honey buy me a new phone please~~~~~~~!!!! :(
so in the meantime i bought a second hand hp... 6230i.. hehehe..... ouh thats for all yah... bubye....

Pengemis Cinta

2007-07-26T08:47:00.000+08:00

well its so early in the morning...
me sings ~~
tak kan ku menjadi pengemis~~
Luke dihati kurawat sendiri~~

llalalala~~

haiz.. there's lots of things that i need to learn about him.. so much things... i just hope by the time we gonna get married.. we knew each other inside out...
Ya Allah.. Please Lead Us To The Right And Blessed Path.. Amin

Huney, deep in my heart... i love u still and this love will never fade as long u love and cherish Our Everlasting Love

bored

2007-07-23T15:21:00.000+08:00

sometime my life is pack with his love.. sometimes im empty... sometimes i feels like he is not need... sometimes i feel he is jz a temp guy... sometimes i juz dont wish to be with him... when we spend time together.. i dont feel such excitement anymore.. he just dont knw how to please me... whenever i see other people boyfren... i got jealous... sometimes i need his attention.. sometimes he jz dont bother...

jz some quote.. if a guy dont know how to take care of his girlfriend, dont ever blame the girlfriend if she starts to look for other channel to fill her emptiness...

senang kate... a girl wont loon for others if the guy knows how to win the gf's heart..

dont look at me.. im not YET in that stage... still hodling on.. but will letting go slowly...

changed my skin

2007-07-18T17:45:00.000+08:00

so i changed my blogskin after quite sometime.. well this background picture was actually taken by me at Seletar dam... its pretty nice yeah.. i like it alot.. so nothing much for today.. my off day.. went to soft rebond my hair.. i dont really like the outlook of it... i like my original condition.. and mind u.. i spent over $118..... fly money fly... but 10days to my pay day... so endure alil bit... heh...

i dont know if i wanna voice out in here... hmm... urgh!! here goes nothing...
my dear told me about his bro,nazreme about his behavior these days.. i really dont know wat comes over him lately.. is it because of his new gf?? his mum seems that dont quite favour his new gf.. well.. if u were to ask me.. i dont quite like her too... simply because.. she is one big minah... there was this time where her fren went to lydia's friendster and left a hurtful remark on her friendster.. its a real childish act!! WTF!! grow up la,minah... den there was tis time wen she actually MERAJUK because i left a good and encouraging remark at lydia's friendster.. that NAZREME EVEN ASKED MY DEAR TO TELL ME TO DELETE OFF THE COMMENT!! i was like.. eh aku pey suke u aku nak comment aper2 pun... asal terase... aku tak der mencemarkan name sesaper per... yg dier nk merajuk pasal tu comment pe hal... terasa kape girl... siakkenz uh... grow up la... ouh btw.. lydia is actually nazreme's ex gf... so far when nazreme was with her... nothing chaos happen... but y now siah... aku pey gaduh ngan TUNANG AKU nyer kecoh pun tak sekecoh dekni ngan his new gf... MEMALUKAN UH!!!!!

ouh yah... get tis in your freaking head.... AS LONG AS U HAVE NOT MARRIED, YOU ARE STILL UNDER CUSTODY OF PARENTS!! AND TAK SALAH IF IBU BAPAK KAU TGK KAU NYER BARANG!!!
ingat satu jer...
JANGAN PASAL BETINE, HUBUNGAN MAK BAPAK KAU RENGANG!!!!! IF TAK SUKE MAK KAU MEMBEBEL, JGN BUAT YG DIER TA SUKE!!! SUSAH SGT KAPER NAK BUAT!!!!

aku really benci dgn sikap nazreme.. why naz?? please dear nazreme.. dont hurt anymore of your mum feelings... i know she is not my mother... but she gonna be my mother-in-law.. i respect her just like i respect my own flesh and blood mom... please nazreme...
jgn pasal pompuan tau.. ingat tu... if you really love each other, please its wont hurt to actually do whats right... you are big enough..... Farah.. please if you love him, please advice him to be his own gd-self... everyone is worried for him... and farah if you really ikhlas nak dgn nazreme... den please think of his mom..

i really dont care if they gonna read up my post... i just dont care anymore.. this is my blog.. and its my say...

me sings "hey minah mina... dibawah kolong... dgn sista sista.. terpekik terlolong~~'''

hey peace!!!

nothing much

2007-07-17T11:21:00.000+08:00

its been looong time since i update.. nothing much happen to me... normal things.. work is fine... Glaiza a temporary full timer has left us.. her contract finished so she will be going back to her own home which at Philipine.. im gonna miss her alot.. a really good staff.. its really hard to get a staff like her.. i mean even i cant do wonders for her... seriously.. she is a gd staff and a gd companion.. we bought a blue soft toy of a dog and a card.. and personally i bought her a friends forever mug... im gonna miss her loads...

well thats for all.. now its pixxies time...

before haircut

new hair cut

my hero

just the 2 of us

glaiza and me at st james toilet

short one.. i think

2007-07-09T14:47:00.000+08:00

well here i am blogging away.. im at my bro's house right now... visiting the new member of this family.. Adly Salihin.. im gonna call him.. E ein... hehehehe... cute right? i just ordered pizza hut.. weee... hehehe...
nothing much to update actually... jz some pix to show.. ouh btw.. today is my off day...

new member of this family.. adly salihin..

Us at starbuck Marine Parade.. our last outing together which was on the 3rd of july

us again..

ouh i shopping few days back...

bought this bag at Zinc at 25.90

bought this both tee shirt and racer back at Pull and bear..
it cost me $20.85

i want to go for more shopping... weee.... today?? please???

st james powerhouse

2007-07-07T10:16:00.000+08:00

so we managed to enter st james powerhouse at ard 12plus am.. simply because the malay boys werent allowed to enter due to quota.. wtf.. malay boys are nothing but trouble to them... but its alrite tho.. heh.. really had fun.. dont wish to elaborate more things in here.. my dear didnt look for me back then.. his simple reason being was.. he dont wish to disturb my fun.. but then... has he eva thought of me.. i was about to get drunk.. but stopped myself.. just drink moderately.. hey.. its quite a loooooooooooooong time since i drank.. i think a year ago.. if im not wrong.. i shall upload a pic that we took outside vivo before we went off to st james... perhaps one day im going with my dear.. this time go in alil bit early wanted to let him in fast due to the quota... merepek pepek uh.. i wore something decen that day.. reason being... im not a wild girl.. ouh whatever.. im being lame.. thats for all folks.. ouh btw... IM AN AUNTY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my bro's wife just gave birth a healthy baby boy by the name of Adly Salihin bin Muhd Shahril... wwooohhoo... i want a baby too... huney.. please get married to me sooonn!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehe... i just love the thought of wedding dress.. then the big big belly... heeee~~~~~~~ well im outta here now... bubye....

hello hello

2007-07-03T09:28:00.000+08:00

so first entry for july... nothing much in fact.. yesterday i was at Vivo city.. not bad actually... i like that place.. crowd was good... nevertheless kinda tiring too... anyway fyza planning to go clubbing.. and wanting me to join them... so okay lor.. beside sunday planning to go clubing was cancelled too due to unforeseen circumstances.. haha.. whatever.. wednesday off to vivo.. huney~~~ puhlease!!!!! hehe.. so today my off day.. planning to survey stuff... ehe.. u knw wt i mean.. hopefully things that we planned goes smoothly..

you knw this month i would like to lose a few kg... right nowim 56kg.. yes!! im 56!! gained 2kg... from the previous month.. argh!! stressful.. well u wanna know hw i gained weight??? at arina square.. JUNK FOOD IS MY ONLY COMPANION!!!! wahahaha... so now.. have to lose alot of weight... in 2weeks time i would like to have 55kg!!! den slowly one kg down in each 2 following weeks.. lets pray2... well okay.. i got nothing much left to say..

i think i just wanna end my entry in here... so till den... bubye!!!

angry

2007-06-30T10:14:00.000+08:00

ok transformer are okay.. well not okay for me.. lol.. but had fun meeting my dear... went to watch transformer at VIVO...
well i got nothing much to say...
angry with mummy..
whatever... hopefully my pay this month is a blast... bonus?? hehe.. maybe.. we shall see... ttaattaa...

confusion leads to insanity

2007-06-25T11:19:00.000+08:00

its been 8days since i eva saw him.. its my request that i dont wish to see him... i just wanna cool myself down... we quarelled again when i msged him yesterday.. that is the reason why i dont wish to contact him... it will end up quarelling.. which i hate it alot...
anyway yesterday night when i reached home, i msged him..
the message goes smth like this :

i knw i tk dpt voice out my thoughts and feelings towards u. u pun ade buat kesilapan.. im not totally in blame..i wont be in such condition without a cause.. im nt crazy.. u knw dt bt u jz totally ignored dt im like dat.. entah la u..i dn knw if we shld go on.. bt i rela lepaskan u if its for our own gd..i dn mind if we cant make it with each other as long we r happy.. who knws ade org yg lagi leh take ur nonsensical behavious n lesser attitude as me..jz want us to settle wteva dispute in a gd manner.. evenif we dn end being together as long as we end tings peacefully.. so wat say u??

thats how the msg.. no respond from him till this morning.. he didnt say much... this is how the msg goes:

i nk mintak maaf atas kesalahan i terhadap u.. i pun ada buat kesilapan jugak.. lets 4gif n 4get k syg? lets look ahead.. I'm sori once again..

I didnt reply.. dont know what to reply.. haiz...

so today my afternonn shift.. im starting to love people over the other side.. however it wont last long u knw.. simply because we're gonna transfer out...

Kak Mel(1st in-charge) - transfer to lucky plaza..
Soadik (2nd in-charge) - transfer to Tampines Men
Stephy(Part-timer) - transfer back to Bugis Junction
Me ( full-timer) - transfer to VIVO CITY!!!!!!! the 2nd place of the most happening place!!! WWOOOOHHOO HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so who stays??? Lilian,the forever have not confrimed.. as u all knw she stepped into this company the same time as me.. but sitll have not confrimed.. reason being.. well i dont wish to mention it in here.. heh!!
Zi Ying.. the new part-time girl.. petite lady... hehehehe....

well thats for all yah... bubye...